Hey everybody,
Pictures here:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/SiGTVZh4C29oPXPz8
Last time I left you I was about to leave Chiang Mai to head for a relaxing couple of weeks on the islands of the Samui archipelago in the Gulf of Thailand. My intention was to head straight for Ko Tao but I missed the last ferry. No problem... when I'm travelling I'm so adaptable my nickname should be Darwin. I ended up staying one night on Chaweng Beach on Ko Samui, which is the most happening (translation: touristy) spot on the most happening (translation: touristy) island in the area. Don't get me wrong, I love being overcharged for a room, blaring music and flashing lights all up and down the street, and being approached by ladyboys and bargirls trying to get me to come to a cabaret show. Fanfreakingtastic! I did manage to salvage the evening by grabbing my walkman and a lounge chair and lying on the beach listening to some music. I didn't realize how much I had missed the water. I really looked forward to the next couple of weeks on the islands.
The next day I headed to Ko Tao which is one of Thailand's top diving destinations. It's a fairly small island and from my stay there I'd say it's an excellent place to go and chill out for a few days. There's enough nightlife to keep things interesting but not so much that it's in your face. The beaches are not anything spectacular, but the diving and snorkelling are outstanding. The plan was to meet up with Rob as he was taking his open water course there, but the place where he was staying was all booked. I ended up staying at Big Blue resort which was recommended to me by my dive instructor in Australia. I splurged on a sweet aircon room with a double bed and a balcony. At about six o'clock there's a knock on my door. Rob is standing there with his buddy Steve and three bottles of Chang in his hands. Uh oh. Ko Tao has a pretty sweet setup at night. The bars are right out on the beach, and they put out these low tables surrounded by mats and cushions on which you can lie down. Then all around the perimeter they dig these holes where they put used beer bottles to serve as torches for mood lighting. I was happily drinking a beer with Rob and Steve and a few others when someone went and ordered a bucket. For some reason, buckets lead directly to injury for yours truly. As I was sitting down on one of the cushions, I slipped and fell and rolled backwards onto one of the torch pits, which I put out... with my leg. It was straight out of some Benny Hill sketch. I now have a "Ko Tao tattoo" on the back of my calf which will always remind me of my trip. I'm just grateful it wasn't some other body part. Rob went around telling everyone that it was my birthday so the whole bar sang me the birthday song. That was it though... cheap bastards didn't even buy me a round. Sure, it wasn't my birthday, but they didn't know that. I felt slighted.
I didn't get back until 2 AM and my alarm went off at 6:45. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to schedule my advanced certification dives for this particular morning. Damn you Beer Chang! Well, I managed to pass the rest of my dives and get my advanced open water diver certification, which means I can now molest acquatic life at a depth of 30 meters! Woohoo! Look out Nemo... here comes daddy!!! Hahaha! In spite of my Chang-induced glaze, one thing I was able to appreciate about the dives was the incredible visibility. I could swear at our first dive site it was something like 20 meters. The water was so clear and warm that I ended up diving without a wetsuit in my board shorts quite comfortably. I was able to see a reef shark as well on our first dive, which was wicked cool. I did a couple of fun dives the next day but the only thing I saw was a shitload of fins and snorkels. The dive sites are really crowded in the afternoon so all you're doing is dodging other divers. The next day I decided to break things up a bit by trying to kayak around the island. In the 95 degree midday sun. I had to turn back early because I had signed up for a night dive, and I think I was getting heatstroke, but I did get to see the north side of the island which is inaccessible by road. Unfortunately, it was not that interesting, just rocks and a bunch of trees. The night dive was extremely cool though. I almost got stuck in a crevice trying to follow the divemaster. My buoyancy sucks. The highlight was seeing a pufferfish. It looked just like it did on the Simpsons. You know, that episode where Homer eats blowfish at the sushi restaurant and they tell him he only has 24 hours to live. I couldn't get too close, though, because if they're forced to puff up it's really bad for their heart.
The next morning I left for Ko Phangan a broken shell of a man. I don't know if it was heat exhaustion, or overexertion from kayaking and diving, or bad panaeng curry, or what, but I was visited by my old friend the Vomitrhea Fairy during the night. Repeatedly. I blame it on the fact that someone at our table ordered a bucket after dinner. I didn't even drink any... its mere proximity guaranteed that something would happen to me. Upon my arrival in Ko Phangan I decided to head straight for Haad Rin to look for a place to stay. It's ground zero for the Full Moon party which was to occur in a few days. I was in no mood to carry around my backpack and look for a place to stay. Now whenever I had met other travellers in Thailand who were headed to the Full Moon party they all warned me not to go to Haad Rin... you'll never find a place to stay... it's crowded and noisy... it's dirty and chaotic... blah blah blah. They made it sound like they would've preferred to stay in downtown Baghdad.
When I got there, it was nothing like I expected. It's just a small village on the southeast corner of the island with one main street and two beaches opposite each other on a peninsula. Within a half hour I had found a bungalow right on the water on the quiet sunset side of the peninsula. I met up with Caroline and Jodie (from Manchester) whom I had met in Singapore and also with Matt (from Scotland) who had travelled with them through Malaysia. The next few days leading up to the Full Moon party were very relaxed, consisting mostly of sitting on the beach listening to music, hanging out in front of my bungalow watching the sunset over the water, and watching the nightly lightning displays across the sea. There's good nightlife over on the sunrise side of the peninsula with loads of beachfront bars and clubs offering all three types of music: House, Techno, AND Trance! woo hoo! I'm in heaven! I was very impressed by the firedancers that were out there. You know, the dudes twirling around the fire sticks and doing all sorts of acrobatics. They offer firedancing classes on the island, and if I'd had a few more days I'm sure I could've come away with at least 2nd degree burns. Especially if there were any buckets around. When you're hanging out at the bars on the beach, one thing you constantly have to watch out for are the kids trying to sell you glow sticks, bracelets, necklaces, and other shit. They'll sneak up behind you and wrap the necklace around your neck before you know what the hell is going on. They're like 5 year old ninjas or something. The Thai government could use these kids as assassins. Also, you can have your picture taken with any of the following animals: snakes, falcons, iguanas, and monkeys. Jodie had been chased back to her room by a wild monkey so when one of the picture dudes came up and put a monkey on her head the look on her face was one of utter terror. Heh heh. Another bonus about staying in Haad Rin is that it's like visiting two countries in one: Thailand and Israel. I wouldn't be surprised if Thai people actually felt like a minority. Every time I went to an internet cafe I'd have to switch the keyboard over from Hebrew to English. But that's neither here nor there.
For those of you not familiar with the Full Moon party, I'll do my best to describe it to you. In a word: chaos. We headed down to the beach around 11 o'clock. The streets were lined with bucket vendors. I began to fear for my life. Fortunately, I think some sort of magnetic field was created due to the sheer number of buckets floating around that allowed me to come away from the night unscathed. The beach was completely packed with people. The party seemed to be divided into three layers. The first layer was the people who were actually in or immediately around the bars and clubs. The second layer was the beach from the clubs to the shore which consisted of people either dancing or standing around and chatting, all equipped with buckets and/or beers. The third layer was the one close to the shore. That was the de facto walkway for the party that people would use to go along the beach and get from one bar to another. It was also where people went to pass out, so you had some kind of human obstacle course to negotiate as you were walking around. I guess there might even be a fourth layer which was the water. That seemed to be the popular place to have sex or just get naked. I've never been around such a large number of people who were high or drunk or both... at least a few thousand were there. I guess it was like a giant outdoor rave except everyone was wearing fisherman pants. There was the mandatory sighting of a dude in a Dr. Seuss hat and many people with facepaint. It would have been a very old testament moment had it started raining frogs and a tsunami came and washed us away.
I left at about 4:30 but came back to check out the scene at 10 in the morning. There were still people partying in a couple of the bars. The beach was a complete mess of empty beer bottles and plastic buckets mixed with other trash. I helped out a guy who had passed out on the beach, but surprisingly he was the only casualty I saw. Maybe the other ones had already been cleared away by the time I got there.
After a recovery day in Haad Rin, we decided to head to Haad Yuan for a couple of days. It's right next to Haad Rin, but it's very secluded and can only be reached by boat. It was a very relaxing place to spend my last couple of days on the islands. It's a very short strip of beach with nothing but clear, warm water and lounge chairs. No internet stations, no shops, only the restaurants run by the resorts. It was tough to leave, not just because of the environment but also because of the cool crew of Caroline, Jodie and Matt. I flew out from Samui to Bangkok where I had a few hours to head into town and meet up with my travel guardian angel Alex before my flight to London. We hadn't seen each other in a couple of years but she helped me out a great deal by giving me advice on where to go and what to do in every country I visited and by hooking me up with some great people in New Zealand. She's been travelling for a couple of years so we had a lot to catch up on, plus now I had a Bangkok tour guide, so I decided to stay an extra day and fly to London the following night. So I got to see a bit of the Thai capital and enjoyed some excellent company on my last day in Thailand. We didn't make it to the ping pong show because Alex had already been twice and she was afraid three times could be classified as a fetish. We both got a foot massage, which was actually relaxing, but I kept thinking of that scene between Jules and Vincent in Pulp Fiction...
Jules: It ain't no fuckin' ballpark either. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holies, ain't the same ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin'
sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot massages - I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be tickling or nothin'.
Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You give them a lot?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired, I could use a foot massage.
Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' pissed.
Ha ha ha! Yeah, I know it's rude, but if you've read this far I figure you're hardcore.
Now I'm in London with Stefano and it's like I had seen him yesterday. We put my bags down at his place and he says "okay, let's go to a pub and get a Guinness. Then I want to hear about the women." I fear single Stefano. Then we spent the afternoon catching up in a park drinking Stella. It's weird though, because I thought I'd feel some kind of shock at coming back to someplace familiar, but I almost feel like I've never left. Time has passed so quickly... I think I'll be ready to take off again soon. Heh heh. Anyhow, I don't know if I'll be doing anything all that interesting in the next few weeks before coming home other than hanging out on the beach in Italy, but I'll try to come up with something to keep y'all entertained.
As always, the dude abides,
Dave
Pictures here:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/SiGTVZh4C29oPXPz8
Last time I left you I was about to leave Chiang Mai to head for a relaxing couple of weeks on the islands of the Samui archipelago in the Gulf of Thailand. My intention was to head straight for Ko Tao but I missed the last ferry. No problem... when I'm travelling I'm so adaptable my nickname should be Darwin. I ended up staying one night on Chaweng Beach on Ko Samui, which is the most happening (translation: touristy) spot on the most happening (translation: touristy) island in the area. Don't get me wrong, I love being overcharged for a room, blaring music and flashing lights all up and down the street, and being approached by ladyboys and bargirls trying to get me to come to a cabaret show. Fanfreakingtastic! I did manage to salvage the evening by grabbing my walkman and a lounge chair and lying on the beach listening to some music. I didn't realize how much I had missed the water. I really looked forward to the next couple of weeks on the islands.
The next day I headed to Ko Tao which is one of Thailand's top diving destinations. It's a fairly small island and from my stay there I'd say it's an excellent place to go and chill out for a few days. There's enough nightlife to keep things interesting but not so much that it's in your face. The beaches are not anything spectacular, but the diving and snorkelling are outstanding. The plan was to meet up with Rob as he was taking his open water course there, but the place where he was staying was all booked. I ended up staying at Big Blue resort which was recommended to me by my dive instructor in Australia. I splurged on a sweet aircon room with a double bed and a balcony. At about six o'clock there's a knock on my door. Rob is standing there with his buddy Steve and three bottles of Chang in his hands. Uh oh. Ko Tao has a pretty sweet setup at night. The bars are right out on the beach, and they put out these low tables surrounded by mats and cushions on which you can lie down. Then all around the perimeter they dig these holes where they put used beer bottles to serve as torches for mood lighting. I was happily drinking a beer with Rob and Steve and a few others when someone went and ordered a bucket. For some reason, buckets lead directly to injury for yours truly. As I was sitting down on one of the cushions, I slipped and fell and rolled backwards onto one of the torch pits, which I put out... with my leg. It was straight out of some Benny Hill sketch. I now have a "Ko Tao tattoo" on the back of my calf which will always remind me of my trip. I'm just grateful it wasn't some other body part. Rob went around telling everyone that it was my birthday so the whole bar sang me the birthday song. That was it though... cheap bastards didn't even buy me a round. Sure, it wasn't my birthday, but they didn't know that. I felt slighted.
I didn't get back until 2 AM and my alarm went off at 6:45. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to schedule my advanced certification dives for this particular morning. Damn you Beer Chang! Well, I managed to pass the rest of my dives and get my advanced open water diver certification, which means I can now molest acquatic life at a depth of 30 meters! Woohoo! Look out Nemo... here comes daddy!!! Hahaha! In spite of my Chang-induced glaze, one thing I was able to appreciate about the dives was the incredible visibility. I could swear at our first dive site it was something like 20 meters. The water was so clear and warm that I ended up diving without a wetsuit in my board shorts quite comfortably. I was able to see a reef shark as well on our first dive, which was wicked cool. I did a couple of fun dives the next day but the only thing I saw was a shitload of fins and snorkels. The dive sites are really crowded in the afternoon so all you're doing is dodging other divers. The next day I decided to break things up a bit by trying to kayak around the island. In the 95 degree midday sun. I had to turn back early because I had signed up for a night dive, and I think I was getting heatstroke, but I did get to see the north side of the island which is inaccessible by road. Unfortunately, it was not that interesting, just rocks and a bunch of trees. The night dive was extremely cool though. I almost got stuck in a crevice trying to follow the divemaster. My buoyancy sucks. The highlight was seeing a pufferfish. It looked just like it did on the Simpsons. You know, that episode where Homer eats blowfish at the sushi restaurant and they tell him he only has 24 hours to live. I couldn't get too close, though, because if they're forced to puff up it's really bad for their heart.
The next morning I left for Ko Phangan a broken shell of a man. I don't know if it was heat exhaustion, or overexertion from kayaking and diving, or bad panaeng curry, or what, but I was visited by my old friend the Vomitrhea Fairy during the night. Repeatedly. I blame it on the fact that someone at our table ordered a bucket after dinner. I didn't even drink any... its mere proximity guaranteed that something would happen to me. Upon my arrival in Ko Phangan I decided to head straight for Haad Rin to look for a place to stay. It's ground zero for the Full Moon party which was to occur in a few days. I was in no mood to carry around my backpack and look for a place to stay. Now whenever I had met other travellers in Thailand who were headed to the Full Moon party they all warned me not to go to Haad Rin... you'll never find a place to stay... it's crowded and noisy... it's dirty and chaotic... blah blah blah. They made it sound like they would've preferred to stay in downtown Baghdad.
When I got there, it was nothing like I expected. It's just a small village on the southeast corner of the island with one main street and two beaches opposite each other on a peninsula. Within a half hour I had found a bungalow right on the water on the quiet sunset side of the peninsula. I met up with Caroline and Jodie (from Manchester) whom I had met in Singapore and also with Matt (from Scotland) who had travelled with them through Malaysia. The next few days leading up to the Full Moon party were very relaxed, consisting mostly of sitting on the beach listening to music, hanging out in front of my bungalow watching the sunset over the water, and watching the nightly lightning displays across the sea. There's good nightlife over on the sunrise side of the peninsula with loads of beachfront bars and clubs offering all three types of music: House, Techno, AND Trance! woo hoo! I'm in heaven! I was very impressed by the firedancers that were out there. You know, the dudes twirling around the fire sticks and doing all sorts of acrobatics. They offer firedancing classes on the island, and if I'd had a few more days I'm sure I could've come away with at least 2nd degree burns. Especially if there were any buckets around. When you're hanging out at the bars on the beach, one thing you constantly have to watch out for are the kids trying to sell you glow sticks, bracelets, necklaces, and other shit. They'll sneak up behind you and wrap the necklace around your neck before you know what the hell is going on. They're like 5 year old ninjas or something. The Thai government could use these kids as assassins. Also, you can have your picture taken with any of the following animals: snakes, falcons, iguanas, and monkeys. Jodie had been chased back to her room by a wild monkey so when one of the picture dudes came up and put a monkey on her head the look on her face was one of utter terror. Heh heh. Another bonus about staying in Haad Rin is that it's like visiting two countries in one: Thailand and Israel. I wouldn't be surprised if Thai people actually felt like a minority. Every time I went to an internet cafe I'd have to switch the keyboard over from Hebrew to English. But that's neither here nor there.
For those of you not familiar with the Full Moon party, I'll do my best to describe it to you. In a word: chaos. We headed down to the beach around 11 o'clock. The streets were lined with bucket vendors. I began to fear for my life. Fortunately, I think some sort of magnetic field was created due to the sheer number of buckets floating around that allowed me to come away from the night unscathed. The beach was completely packed with people. The party seemed to be divided into three layers. The first layer was the people who were actually in or immediately around the bars and clubs. The second layer was the beach from the clubs to the shore which consisted of people either dancing or standing around and chatting, all equipped with buckets and/or beers. The third layer was the one close to the shore. That was the de facto walkway for the party that people would use to go along the beach and get from one bar to another. It was also where people went to pass out, so you had some kind of human obstacle course to negotiate as you were walking around. I guess there might even be a fourth layer which was the water. That seemed to be the popular place to have sex or just get naked. I've never been around such a large number of people who were high or drunk or both... at least a few thousand were there. I guess it was like a giant outdoor rave except everyone was wearing fisherman pants. There was the mandatory sighting of a dude in a Dr. Seuss hat and many people with facepaint. It would have been a very old testament moment had it started raining frogs and a tsunami came and washed us away.
I left at about 4:30 but came back to check out the scene at 10 in the morning. There were still people partying in a couple of the bars. The beach was a complete mess of empty beer bottles and plastic buckets mixed with other trash. I helped out a guy who had passed out on the beach, but surprisingly he was the only casualty I saw. Maybe the other ones had already been cleared away by the time I got there.
After a recovery day in Haad Rin, we decided to head to Haad Yuan for a couple of days. It's right next to Haad Rin, but it's very secluded and can only be reached by boat. It was a very relaxing place to spend my last couple of days on the islands. It's a very short strip of beach with nothing but clear, warm water and lounge chairs. No internet stations, no shops, only the restaurants run by the resorts. It was tough to leave, not just because of the environment but also because of the cool crew of Caroline, Jodie and Matt. I flew out from Samui to Bangkok where I had a few hours to head into town and meet up with my travel guardian angel Alex before my flight to London. We hadn't seen each other in a couple of years but she helped me out a great deal by giving me advice on where to go and what to do in every country I visited and by hooking me up with some great people in New Zealand. She's been travelling for a couple of years so we had a lot to catch up on, plus now I had a Bangkok tour guide, so I decided to stay an extra day and fly to London the following night. So I got to see a bit of the Thai capital and enjoyed some excellent company on my last day in Thailand. We didn't make it to the ping pong show because Alex had already been twice and she was afraid three times could be classified as a fetish. We both got a foot massage, which was actually relaxing, but I kept thinking of that scene between Jules and Vincent in Pulp Fiction...
Jules: It ain't no fuckin' ballpark either. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holies, ain't the same ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin'
sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot massages - I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be tickling or nothin'.
Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You give them a lot?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired, I could use a foot massage.
Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' pissed.
Ha ha ha! Yeah, I know it's rude, but if you've read this far I figure you're hardcore.
Now I'm in London with Stefano and it's like I had seen him yesterday. We put my bags down at his place and he says "okay, let's go to a pub and get a Guinness. Then I want to hear about the women." I fear single Stefano. Then we spent the afternoon catching up in a park drinking Stella. It's weird though, because I thought I'd feel some kind of shock at coming back to someplace familiar, but I almost feel like I've never left. Time has passed so quickly... I think I'll be ready to take off again soon. Heh heh. Anyhow, I don't know if I'll be doing anything all that interesting in the next few weeks before coming home other than hanging out on the beach in Italy, but I'll try to come up with something to keep y'all entertained.
As always, the dude abides,
Dave
