An "Awesome" wedding

Hey everybody,

It's been a while since I had a year where I sent out two posts.  I think that's a good sign... it means I've done stuff that I think is worth sharing.  Whether you'll actually enjoy it is another story but this is about me ok?

Best Wedding Invitation Ever

Some of you might remember my old roommate Sean from when I lived in the Mission in SF or, as Jason and I used to call him, "Awesome."  Why did we call him Awesome?  You'll just have to ask Sean next time you see him, but I guarantee the ensuing storytellng and visuals are :chefkiss:.  Anyhow, back in the spring out of nowhere I got an invitation to attend his wedding in India, to which I, of course, replied "Fuck yes."  That wasn't actually one of the options but I did write it in.  I'd never been to India before and had always thought that when I finally did get a chance to travel there I'd take 3-4 months to really get a feel for that enormous country and its people and culture.  Fate intervened, however, and I only had 10 days of vacation left from work after my recent trip to England which meant I had to make do.  I decided to split the trip into the wedding part and then the relax part:  Beaches in Goa.

 

I'll spare you the gory details about my flight into Bengaluru other than to say that it was canceled on the day I was supposed to fly out and I spent 3 hours on the phone trying to negotiate another flight with Air India.  The wedding took place at a resort in the Nandi Hills about an hour outside of Bengaluru.  By the time I arrived to the hotel it was 4AM and the only person at the front desk was the executive chef which, yes, also seemed very strange at the time.  Unsurprisingly, about 30 minutes of shenanigans ensued whereby I was told I didn't have a room, or that I needed to wait until the following day at 2PM or that they didn't have a reservation for me.  We finally straightened that last part out when I realized that my booking was under "Mr. Dhave."  I finally got into a room at about 5AM and crashed.  That's the thing about traveling... if you can get into a chill state of mind you can handle just about anything.  Don't be in a hurry, don't be tired, don't be hungry.  The tired one can be a challenge because sometimes it's out of your control, but if you've got the other two covered you're usually ok.  The don't be hungry one drives me bonkers though.  Have you ever hung out with anyone who warns you that "they get hangry" and then whenever they haven't eaten for a while they turn into an asshole?  And then think it's ok or that you shouldn't react because they're "hangry?"  Well fuck that!  You're an adult!  Pack a granola bar or a banana or something.  Your lack of preparation does not constitute an emergency for me.

 

I packed light and figured I could buy clothes for the wedding once I got there and a few others in the wedding party felt the same way.  Ryan (Sean's brother), Elaine (Ryan's wife), Kaleigh, Corey and I took a trip into a several nearby villages to pick up some super sweet outfits.  As has been documented in these annals I suck at bargaining and luckily India is relatively cheap.  I ended up with 3 different outfits so I could go through my Beyonce outfit changes as appropriate.  I don't know if this is only me but I think a couple years ago was the first time that I was putting on clothes and looking at the mirror and going "yeah that looks pretty good" and then I panned up to my head and was like "Aaah!  Yikes who is that crinkly guy?"  That's how I feel about most of my pictures nowadays.  I don't think it'll ever stop me from wearing the same clothes I always do, but it might be a weird look to see an 82 year old guy sitting on a stoop with a backward ballcap, shorts and t-shirt instead of a cardigan and slacks.  Oh well.

 

Nandana and Sean showered by rose petals

Now to the main event.  Conceptually I was thinking that a 2-day wedding would have downtime, or times where I'd be bored or have nothing to do but that was definitely not the case.  It helped that over 20 of Sean's friends flew in from all corners of the globe, or that there were easily over 200 people at the wedding roaming in and out over the course of the weekend.  And honestly, I really love weddings.  I've attended over 50 of them (I lost count about 10 years ago) and I've officiated three of them.  They are the one day that is filled with hope, joy, friends and family and should pierce the veil of even the most hardened cynic.  I say "should" because some folks out there are buzz-killing soul siphons but hopefully you don't fall into that category.  Anyhow, there were four distinct parts of the wedding that sort of blurred together over the course of the two days.  Every ceremony had a kaleidoscope of colors from flowers, wreaths, clothing and decoration.  Music and chanting were a constant presence, either featured or hanging in the background.  I was grinning ear to ear both days.  It was a very different experience for me, with so much pure joy and smiles from all who attended.  It wasn't stuffy in any way like some of the western shit.  I didn't understand the language but I could get the vibe; colorful and chaotic but with a purpose.  Even the ceremonies themselves were formal and yet not, with lots of laughing and informality even from the priests themselves.  I can't remember all the details but the actual wedding itself was at 4AM on the second day which was meant to be an astrologically auspicious time.  Nandana's mom and her sister Shilpa split their time between participating in the ceremonies and making sure all the guests were having a good time (and helping us understand what the hell was going on).  Shilpa even sent all of us a doc with an explanation of all the rituals that happened on the Saturday. I'll never forget the experience and I don't think words will do it justice.  Hopefully the photos will help.

 

After the wedding I wanted to spend my last few days in India relaxing by the water.  Ever since I watched the second Bourne Identity movie I've been captivated by the idea of the beaches in Goa which is where they're staying at the beginning of the movie.  Whenever I say that to somebody the first thing they say is "wait doesn't his girlfriend die in that scene?" to which I say "yeah ok but that's not the point.  That beach looks amazing!"  It turns out the beach in that scene is called Palolem and is where I stayed for my sojourn in south Goa.  Well Palolem Beach was a lot less crowded when Matt Damon was running along the shoreline back in 2004 but it is spectacular nonetheless.  It's crescent-shaped with a small island at its northern tip, surrounded by palm trees and with a hippie/backpacker vibe.  Whenever I take a trip to a beach location I end up going stir crazy after a couple of days and finding something different to do but that didn't happen this time.  Maybe I needed the relaxation time.  I planted myself on a chair, listening to a good audiobook, occasionally went for a swim, then rinse and repeat until evening.  There are anchor points that I usually have when I'm traveling if I'm going to stay in one place for a few days and I'm not sure what I'm going to do, like looking for good beer, or finding decent coffee, or taking a cooking class (which I did).  I also took a half-day drive inland with my new pal Suraj to look at waterfalls and take a tour of a spice farm where they grow betel nuts, nutmeg, mace, vanilla, bananas, coriander, coffee, peppercorns, piri piri peppers, cinnamon, turmeric and basil.  Every herb had a requisite home remedy and the guide was excellent at explaining their sustainable practices, for example leveraging the betel nut trees to grow vines of vanilla because the trees have no branches.  The whole "health benefits" talk track was slightly undermined by tthe decrepit old man who entered from stage left and looked like he could have been toppled by a light breeze.  I talked to Suraj a bit about India in general during our drive together; he's optimistic likes the development that's happening in Goa, though he's concerned that beer prices will eventually spike to Bengaluru levels.

 

The next day I decided to try my luck at an Emotional Blockage Chakra treatment at the World Happiness School.  For those of you that know me well you might find this puzzling, but I saw these fliers around town and said to myself "Self... when is the next time you'll be able to have your emotional chakras unblocked by the World Happiness School?" Also at this point maybe I had gone slightly stir crazy about the beach but I'm not gonna go back and edit the previous section.  Anyway, it turns out that the school is a wooden shack in a secluded alcove about 100 yards from the beach run by a tiny, bespectacled and very smiley Indian gnome but, you know, details.  As for the experience itself, I'm going to refer back to my notes I wrote immediately afterward and write them out for you verbatim:

• Spent 10 minutes examining my feet, toes, calves.
• Said I have too many thoughts
• I had conflict and anger when I was younger (stored in my left leg).  Repressed anger.
• Told me I have sleep issues.  If I fix them my knees will feel better.
• Said that something traumatic happened to me when I was 21 or 22 (?) 
• Most painful massage I've ever had by far (1 hour) 
• Super intense breath work for the last 10 minutes 
• Felt like I was vibrating for 10 minutes after. Light headed when I tried to get up.  Still in a daze 20 mins later. 
• Homework
• Soak calves in hot water with salt for 20 minutes every day
• No salad for a while.  Maybe during the day.  Raw veg no good for sleep.
• Nutmeg in milk.
• For anxiety, in the daytime block my right nostril.  At night, block my left nostril. 

It was a crazy experience.  That little guy really tore me up.  He was fucking strong!  I was lying on my stomach the whole time but I'm pretty sure elbows got involved and I think he was walking on me for a while. My calves hurt for two days afterward.  He really got in there.  As some of you may know I'm not unfamiliar with the power of breath work but maybe something about the combination of the massaging and the length of the breath work got me all high. I've got nowhere to soak my calves and I haven't tried the nostril thing, but I've avoided eating raw vegetables for a while (not sure it's helping with my sleep).  I can't really say whether the unblocking worked but I'll let you know if it does.

Anand 'n me

That evening I went out for a sunset paddle on a kayak and spent the evening listening to live music while eating dinner and drinking a couple of beers.  This is where everything went wrong.  Maybe it was the tandoori prawns, or the unexpected raw veg on the papadums, or I dunno maybe I was expelling toxins from my treatment but that night was the onset of a violent bout of food poisoning that (sparing you the gory details) took me out of commission for the next 36 hours.  I didn't crawl out into the sunlight until the morning of my departure.  I decided to find a barber to shave my face and head and see if it could energize me in some way.  Well, the open-air barber I found on the main street turned out to be full-service.  It was the best shave of my life; straight razor twice in both directions.  He gave me a head massage, a face massage and exfoliation.  I've never been told to take my shirt off by a barber but I decided to just go with it.  He rubbed some kind of cooling oil all over me and massaged my head, arms and back.  Then he used a weird vibrating machine that attached to the palm of his hand and reminded me of a plate compactor to massage my arms and shoulders.  Then he cleaned out my nose, ears and even trimmed my eyebrows.  I walked out of there after an hour feeling... resplendent.  The downside is that I felt pretty oily for most of the day, like a mackerel.  Because the "treatment" took so long I almost missed my ride to the airport with Anand, who is a friend of Suraj.  We talked for most of the ride to the airport and I learned that he's newly married, he's been driving in Goa for 20 years, he likes English and German tourists but not Russians or Israelis (he is indifferent about Americans).  I told him that I was pleasantly surprised to see so many Indian tourists on the beach in Palolem (at least half) and Anand said that it was a recent phenomenon from Covid-times... people rediscovering their own country.  He also told me that next time I shouldn't go on a tour with Suraj because he's only been doing this for a couple of years, and Anand will take me to Hampi temple which he insists is one of the best places to visit in India.  He's conflicted about the development in Goa although he thinks it will be good for most people.  He also invited me to dinner at his house next time I come to Goa and said his wife will make chicken.  We covered a lot of ground in an hour and a half.  When he dropped me off he took a selfie of both of us and texted me a couple days later to make sure I got home all right.

I still don't really feel like I can say I "visited India" because I only saw two small specks on a huge continent.  I loved my time there, though, and I will be back when I can wander for, I dunno, two months at least.  People were friendly, the scenery and the history are amazing, food was great (especially fish thali), it was easy to get around and affordable.  I could have done with fewer emergency shits in the morning though.

Here's a link to the photos:  https://photos.app.goo.gl/qu8uzuv68xVmtdYLA

Take 'er easy,

Dave

A long way to go for a pint

 Hey everybody,

Wow... it's been a while. A lot has happened the last few years but rather than bore you with the whole story I figured I'd call upon my old pal ChatGPT to help summarize it using the personality of a southern gentleman named "The Colonel."

Well now, gather ‘round, y’all, and let ol’ Colonel spin ya a yarn about Dave’s last couple o’ years—a stretch o’ time so full o’ twists and turns it’d make a Mississippi riverboat look like it’s sittin’ still. I do declare, it all kicked off with Dave hittin’ the big five-oh, and he didn’t let that milestone sneak by like a fox in the henhouse. No sir! He had a birthday shindig so grand, the echoes of laughter are probably still bouncin’ ‘round the rafters. Not long after, he moseyed down to Guatemala for his cousin Andrea’s wedding—a celebration finer than sweet tea on a summer porch—only to find himself in a showdown with a case of food poisoning so ferocious it near bout’ knocked him clean off his feet and left him with a hernia as a parting gift. What in tarnation, indeed!

But Dave’s tale ain’t all bellyaches and bedpans. Last year found him under the warm Thai sun, standin’ shoulder to shoulder with dear friends he’d made two decades prior when they built homes for tsunami survivors. It was a reunion of hearts and history, like findin’ a long-lost tune and hummin’ it in harmony once more. And this past year? Well now, suffice it to say, life’s winds done shifted mighty strong. Through a painful but mighty important change, Dave’s chartin’ a brand-new course, and wouldn’t ya know it, the horizon’s lookin’ brighter than sunrise on a rooster’s comb.

Why I do declare that ChatGPT did a mighty fine job with that summation!  Time for a mint julep!  But enough about that... let's get to the traveling.

As you may know I have a personal goal to travel to at least one new country every year and this year that country was Wales.  Why Wales you may ask?  First off, their flag has a fucking dragon on it!  That should be reason enough but in case you need more a) they have castles, b) the Welsh language is impenetrably weird yet strangely melodious, c) my buddy Mark, who lives in Liverpool, offered to play tour guide and d) my love for British beer is well-documented.  No finer libation has yet been created than a proper pint of Timothy Taylor's Landlord.

The tour started in Liverpool:  Home of the Beatles, league champions Liverpool football club and scouse.  My buddy Rich flew out from Toronto and met up with us as well, and Mark took us on a whirlwind one-day tour of his home town.  We walked along Crosby beach to see a load of smoothed bricks from buildings bombed in World War II, a windmill farm out in the sea, and a bunch of naked iron statues of Antony Gormley.  We strolled along the Wirral promenade and stopped at a few of Mark's favorite pubs every couple of hours.  Ok maybe it was more like every hour.

The next day we drove to Ambleside in the Lake District for a couple of days of scenic hikes (and country pubs).  I first read about the Lake District in a book by Alain DeBotton that talked about it as a beautiful holiday destination and after visiting I have to concur.  There are loads of... well... lakes... in the district with multiple walking paths and roads linking the multiple villages in the region (there are 18 YHA hostels in the Lake District alone!).  With Ambleside as our base we hiked to Grasmere on the first day where we met up with Lee who had driven over from Derbyshire.  The walks are well-marked and not particularly strenuous and they take you along various hilltops with views of lakes wherever you go.    Rock walls and brambles surround you as you and occasionally you'll even find a small lake or pond on a hilltop all for yourself.  Mark took us to The Black Bull Inn in Coniston; one of his favorite pubs and home of the fantastic Bluebird Bitter.  The second day we hiked toward Langdale and ended up at the Old Dungeon Ghyll pub where I had a magical steak and ale pie.  We drove to Keswick to visit the Castlerigg stone circle: a neolithic megalith with fantastic views of the surrounding countryside.  Nowadays it seems like these views are mostly enjoyed by herds of sheep who like to leave lots of gifts for visitors making it impossible for you to leave with your shoes unscathed.  In two days we only managed to scratch the surface of the hikes and beautiful views you can experience in the Lake District.  I can see why it's such a popular destination and I can only imagine the nightmarish hellscape it turns into during high season with these tiny villages and one-lane roads.

We headed to Lee and Anna's place in Belper for the next couple of days and on the way I had a transcendent experience thanks to Gail's bakery in Buxton... namely the best sausage roll I've ever eaten. It was life-changing.  Juicy, crunchy, herb-filled.  It was the last sausage roll in the bakery so I can only believe it was my destiny to partake of its goodness.  I will long for this sausage roll in the years to come.  I ask you this my friends:  Is it better to have sausage rolled and lost, or never to have sausage rolled at all?

We visited Eyam village which, in the 17th century, completely isolated itself in order to prevent spreading the bubonic plague.  We visited Nottingham, home of Robin Hood and the oldest pub in England (Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem from 1189).  We toured the Criminal Justice Museum where we beheld a mock 18th century trial, viewed some truly horrific implements of torture/imprisonment and wondered how the hell you provide each prisoner one pound of meat per day on the journey to Australia.  We enjoyed a fantastic pint of Landlord at the Six Barrel drafthouse.  And we, of course, engaged in only the highest levels of discourse including gems like "Enough with the ruins Mark... let's limit the culture to 5 minutes a day tops" or Lee's "Don't get in a fight if you aren't prepared to bite someone."

And now we come to Wales.  At least once a year Mark meets a crew of friends (Kristy, Jo, Sara, Isabel, Fran, Jo and Simon) that he knows from nursing and they pick a destination in the UK, rent a bunkhouse and spend a weekend hiking and hanging out.  Lucky for me they chose Wales this year and, more specifically, the Gower peninsula in the southwest.  Everyone brought food and drinks to share and couldn't be friendlier.  We hiked along the stark and scenic coastline of Rhossili beach and on the second day from Worm's head along the southern cliffs.  It's one of those "I'm at the end of the world" type locations where not only are you looking out to an endless ocean but you also know that there's nothing to the west until Ireland and southwest you'd have to go all the way to Cuba until you hit land.  The UK is extremely hiker-friendly with well-marked walking trails and a "right of way" system where even if the trails go through farmland they need to be maintained.  One important note about southwest Wales that I did not realize is that it has fairly severe weather swings.  I *thought* I was prepared for it, but when you're in a t-shirt under clear sky one minute then the next minute bucketfuls of rain are coming at you horizontally shortly followed by hail that can come as a shock.  It was like that scene from Caddyshack where Carl says "I'd keep playing. I don't think the heavy stuff is gonna come down for quite a while."  I finally understood why our bunkhouse had a "drying room."  

 

 

 

Despite only having known me for a couple of days, Jo was kind enough to let Mark and I stay at her house in Bristol after we left the Welsh coast.  Bristol feels like one of those cities that's very livable, with loads of street art and murals, architecture, history, a good restaurant/bar scene and university vibes.  We crossed the Clifton suspension bridge designed by Brunel, walked along the harborfront and saw the SS Great Britain also designed by Brunel, saw loads of street art, went in a church, drank beer and ate shwarma.  After Bristol we stopped at Ludlow which has a nice church and a good brewery but honestly we need to talk about the hot roast pork sandwich I got there.  It had to be easily a full pound of pork plus stuffing plus applesauce plus crackling.  I never thought it was possible to suffer from pork overload but I can tell you that I did not eat anything for the next 24 hours.  From Ludlow it was on to Shrewsbury for the night.

 

The next morning we were off to north Wales.  On the way we stopped to go for a hike up to the neolithic Wrekin hill fort.  The hike through the forest was long and steep, and at the end you really have to use your imagination because all you can see are dirt mounds.  It's a spectacular 360-degree view, though, and it's easy to understand why people from a few thousand years ago would have wanted to build a fort in that location.  Plus we needed at least some daily exercise to offset the pints.  From there we were back in Wales for a quick visit to the Pontcysyllte Aqueduct which is a world heritage site.  My understanding is that it's one of the first major feats of civil engineering of the industrial age that involved building an acqueduct out of iron to create a waterway all across a valley.  When it was built it was used to transport goods but now the canal boats are mainly used for tours.  You can cross the acqueduct on foot and have amazing views of the surrounding valley, and you get a first-hand look at the kind of traffic jam that can happen when an acqueduct has only room for one canal boat.  

 

Conwy Castle

Our destination was Conwy for a couple of nights but before arriving there we had to stop in Llangollen to sample the culinary delight of the Welsh Oggie.  Apparently there is a rivalry between the Oggie and the Cornish Pastie, but the winner in this contest is my stomach.  Flaky pastry filled with wild game and potatoes... there is no way that can go wrong.  From there we stayed a couple of nights in Conwy where there is a world heritage castle that was built by Edward the first (the bad guy from Braveheart!) during his conquest of Wales.  The castle is in remarkably good shape and you can walk along its walls and scale the towers.  It's positioned strategically right on a river so the only way to siege it is by boat or through the main barbican.  Even though it cost a fortune to build, it didn't see much use by Edward or subsequent kings.  We drove up near Mt. Snowdon and had a pint in an in where Edmund Hillary stayed when he was training to climb Mt. Everest.  We visited the Bryn Celli Du neolithic burial mound.  Mark once again pointed out sites of "pivotal battles" which was a recurring theme during the trip, though to be fair all battles are pivotal to the loser.  Honestly Conwy would've been worth a visit just for pints at the Albion Inn where they serve Purple Moose on cask heh heh.

And now we come to Man Camp. Mark made me change my flight just so I wouldn't miss out on this yearly gathering of reprobates and degenerates.  This may surprise some of you that have met Mark... you think he's kind, generous, innocent... well nothing could be further from the truth.  It's well known among our tight friend circle that Mark may, in fact, be a serial killer.  When Mark bought his new station wagon one of his mates asked him if it had good drainage.  Now you understand why I had to sleep with one eye open the entire trip.  But back to Man Camp.  I think it was curiosity that made me agree to stay because all I knew was the title and Mark was really evasive about everything else.  I asked him who was going to be there and he said Elvis, Bertie, Johnny Cash and The Captain among others.  Every once in a while he'd throw out some ominous anecdote about shenanigans that had occurred at previous Man Camps which brought to mind visions of sweaty drunk, shirtless men unleashing primal screams so I had to be clear with Mark:  No circle jerks.  We can hang out in a square, or a triangle, a parallelogram or shit even a rhombus but if I see anyone starting to form a circle I'm making for the hills.

 

It turns out my concerns were unwarranted.  We met the crew at Ironbridge which is known for (duh) an iron bridge that was one of the heralds of the beginning of the industrial revolution.  A few of the fellas were already cracking open cans of Stella at 10am but we walked it off over the next 6 hours and 11 miles.  It was a beautiful hike through forest, up hillsides and along farmland.  The guys couldn't have been friendlier or more quick-witted.  The afternoon turned into an evening at the pub with just a bunch of middle-aged guys drinking beer and bonding over pop culture references and music from the 80s and 90s.  I did hear that Johnny Cash threw up in the car the next morning though so the legend of Man Camp continues!

 

Which brings me to the end of my trip.  What can I say about Mark?  I hope everyone realizes that I don't really think he's a serial killer (at least that's what I'm going to tell the judge if I'm ever called as a witness).  He drove us across 1200 miles in western England and Wales on a journey that he planned himself.  Mark's knowledge of British history and archaeology gave life and color to every site we visited. He incorporated me into two of his friend groups.  I never felt bored or annoyed, and we could easily have conversations for hours or even slip into comfortable silence for a while (like Mia Wallace and Vincent Vega).  I'm lucky to have him as a friend.

A few postscripts:

• We drove over 1200 miles
• We averaged over 8 miles walking per day
• We averaged 5-6 pints per day
• Why do so many British women dye their hair that burgundy color?  No one could give me an answer.
• British food gets a bad rap.  You can survive on beer and baked goods no problem.

A Sunday Roast for all of you

Here's a link to the photos:  https://photos.app.goo.gl/tAKGkAGAgf3yfgXi9 

 

Take 'er easy,

Dave 

North of the Wall

Hey everybody,

This was by far the most expensive vacation I've ever planned.  By. Far. First off, it's Sweden. Secondly, it'd been almost 3 years since Dawn and I took a vacation together so budget went out the window in favor of checking every box on the wishlist.  Dog sledding and snowmobiling? Yes.  Fancy spa hotel?  Of course.  One night in a designer treehouse?  Why not?  And of course we'll be able to see the northern lights, right?  Right?

Well it didn't work out quite as planned. 

• According to my calculations, during our 19 days in Sweden and Italy we spent approximately 22 unnecessary hours in various airports due to flight delays or cancellations.  
• I jumped through hoops to make reservations and spent a large chunk of change on a fancy dinner in Stockholm that seemed to consist of 96.4832% salt.  Dawn and I must have drunk a gallon of water each that night and we both felt sick.
• There was not enough snow in northern Sweden in December for us to go snowshoeing, or snowmobiling, or dogsledding, or even to visit reindeer since the herders require a certain snow depth before they can round them up for their winter grazing.  Most of the activities we had booked were cancelled.  Thanks a lot climate change!
• It did, however, decide to snow fairly heavily the entire week that we were in the north which gave us approximately a 0% chance of seeing any semblance of any lights, much less the northern ones.
• Dawn got sick with some kind of flu or sinus infection on day 3 of the trip and was unable to shake it until well after we got home.  
• We never got fully over the jetlag.  We kept waking up between 4 and 5 AM every damn night for almost two weeks regardless of when we went to sleep.  I have no idea why... maybe because it got dark at 2PM.

What's there to write about then?  Did we actually do anything while we were there?  Why am I even writing this?  Well, the aforementioned climate change was a hot topic.  That was the subject that was top of mind with everyone we spoke with in northern Sweden.  We flew from Stockholm to Gallivare in the heart of "Lapland" which is a name given by the Swedes to the area but known as Sapmi to the indigenous Sami people. When we landed, Dawn said to me that it looked like we were "North of the Wall" which if you're a Game of Thrones fan you'll understand.

The impact of a later snowfall on a populace that is so closely tied both directly and indirectly to seasonal cycles and the environment is the first thing anyone wants to talk to you about.  Most years they would have expected half a meter of snow by the time we were there.  Late snow means late herding of reindeer, which means less winter grazing time.  Lennart (our host at Sapmi Nature camp) explained that for many Sami people reindeer are like currency and any threat to reindeer wellbeing directly affects their livelihood and primary food source.  Add the impact of other human enterprises like hydroelectric dams and extensive forestry on top of that and it's been putting the Sami way of life at risk for decades.  The old growth forests are dwindling, and the efforts of the forestry industry to replace them with new growth does nothing for the ecosystem.  Reindeer and moose need mature forest for foraging, so the moose actually end up eating the newly planted trees for sustenance.  What's the forestry industry's answer to that?  Shoot the moose, of course!  If you happen to lease your land from the forestry industry, they give you quotas for how many moose you have to shoot depending on how many acres you have.  So you shoot the moose because the forestry people tell you to and then what happens?  The moose become endangered and, on top of that, the bears now start eating your reindeer (the aforementioned currency and Sami man's best friend) because there aren't enough moose to feed the bear population.

Lennart also talked to us about the more direct threats to their culture, things like forced assimilation (Lennart's dad was forcibly sent to a Swedish boarding school), no political representation for the Sami people (a Sami parliament with no real legislative authority), and a lot of other anecdotes that sounded very familiar to anyone who's familiar with how indigenous cultures are treated by dominant cultures.  If any of you have been following the stories out of Canada about the religious schools that were forced upon the indigenous people you'll find many parallels.

We stayed in a "glamping" lavvu, which is a large teepee tent with a pellet stove, comfortable bed and an incinerating toilet named Cinderella.  It was light at 9AM and dark by 2PM although we never got to really see the sun, just shades of gray.  I went for a hike on a frozen river which is something I'd never done before.  We ate gooseberries, smoked trout, moose that had been killed and butchered by Lennart himself, and some really, really salty reindeer meat that Lennart assured me was delicious when dipped in your coffee.  Ugh.

After Gallivare we headed to Harads where we stayed at Arctic Bath for a few nights, a fancy spa/hotel with fancy fine dining and fancy cabins directly on the Lule river.  They immediately informed us that all our planned activities for each day had been cancelled except for one.  I suppose that was a sort of blessing in disguise since Dawn spent most of the next few days sick in bed.  Luckily, we had downloaded the full season of Great British Baking Show.  This is the week where it decided to start snowing, of course, which meant a 0% chance of clear skies or anything resembling night-time lights.  The highlight of the stay for me was the chance to have a 0° C plunge in the cold water pool in the center of the spa.  They keep the water from freezing by using hydro jets to keep it moving around.  I did the whole hot/cold sauna-to-cold plunge three times and it felt like thousands of tiny needles piercing your skin at the same time but in a good way.  5 stars, would recommend.  We did stay one night at the famous Treehotel in a treehouse called "The Cube" which required a 15 minute walk in a snowstorm to reach.  Thanks to my expert planning we arrived at 5PM and had to leave at 8AM to catch a flight so we never got to see our treehouse in the daylight.

During the approximately three hours of clear sky and good health we enjoyed in the north we managed to go ice fishing with Micke Suorra.  Micke is a wilderness guide and expert moose caller who owns a private lake he uses for ice fishing.  He also thought I was Randy Couture, which of course I am.  Micke is a talker and he likes to laugh which helped make this outing the most pleasant few hours of our time in the north.  Dawn and I caught 12 arctic char between us, one of which we kept to bring back to the hotel restaurant so they could make it for our lunch.  After fishing, we sat in Micke's lakeside cabin by a fire where he made us grilled cheese and reindeer sandwiches and told us a lot of stories.  Like Lennart, Micke is of Sami descent and has a lot of "feelings" about the forestry industry.  He has a minimum number of five moose that he is supposed to kill every year to continue to keep the lease on his land, and that number is determined by the forestry officials.  Micke told them that he would kill one moose because that is sufficient to feed his family over the winter and he would kill no more than that and that was that.  A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

We bookended our trip to northern Sweden with a few days in Stockholm, mostly staying in Gamla Stan (Old Town).   The Christmas market was in full swing on Saturdays right in front of the Nobel museum, with stalls selling all sorts of Xmas goodies from Glogg to bear jerky to cloudberry jam.  We got a recipe for delicious beet soup, ate Swedish pastries with hot chocolate, tried Swedish meatballs at a small café, and had yet another fancy dinner at a Michelin star place where every plate was beautiful but extremely salty.  After spending that kind of dough you don't want to be lying awake in bed feeling thirsty and bloated for 4 hours.  I may be off the fancy dinners for a while.

The last part of the trip was visiting family in Italy.  I hadn't seen my dad in three years since I brought Covid back from Italy to the United States "12 Monkeys" style.  He's looking pretty good for an old man although he's still eating too much.  My stepmom told us that they had to take him to the emergency room because he got sick after eating too many mushrooms at a dinner party.  She said something something "two kilos" which is 4.5 pounds but that seems almost impossible.  My dad's rebuttal: "They were fresh porcini."  Then he shrugged and went back to reading his newspaper.  Enough said.

Our last couple of nights in Italy were spent with my cousin Andrea and his wife Caterina at their Casapaletti Country House B&B about an hour outside of Torino in northwest Italy.  They have a beautiful villa with a fantastic view of the surrounding valley.  And a hot tub.  It had snowed the day before we arrived so everything was covered in a light layer of white.  The way Andrea operates when he takes you on a tour is that everything he does is an excuse for either eating or drinking something interesting.  We visited several local wineries where he buys wine for his B&B, usually featuring the local specialty of Grignolino as well as other favorites from Piemonte (like Barolo).  We ate fresh pasta with goat ragu and rare Piemontese beef at a truck stop.  We sampled cheeses that Andrea picked up from a local farm.  We visited a winery that featured a several hundred year old wine cellar called an "Infernot" that has been carved out of stone.  It was the only sunny day that we enjoyed in our almost three week vacation and it was not a bad way to end things.  

Nobody is going to feel sorry for you when you take five weeks off work and spend three weeks traveling in Europe.  Nevertheless, I don't think either one of us would say this was the most enjoyable or most relaxing vacation we've taken.  As time passes, though, the difficulties will turn into good stories.  Everything sounds more hilarious in a two-sentence quip versus when you're actually living it.  I do remember discovering the beauty of the stark contrast of grays and whites on display in the grim north of Sweden.  I got to take my frozen plunge.  We learned about the Sami people while staying in a cozy fancy tent. We ate a lot of good food.  I caught fish for the first time ever and got to eat it.  I saw my family for the first time in three years.  It was also the first time in three years that Dawn and I took a vacation together.  What's to complain about?

Here's a link to the photo album:  North of the Wall

Take 'er easy,

Dave

Blød Indeni

 Hey everybody,

When Marcellus said "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark" I believe he was referring to Woods, who had not done laundry in 8 days by the time I met him in Copenhagen.  You see, Woods had spent 4 weeks cycling around Denmark and was in desperate need of a washing machine.  Lucky for him, the Airbnb where we stayed in Nyhavn was supplied with a washer/dryer, although the residents had left a wet load of laundry in said washer.  

Mustang or Pinto?  You decide.

Why Denmark?  That's where Woods was. I invited myself. I suppose I owe you more of an explanation since, you know, you're reading this.  Let's talk about my buddy Woods first.  We've been friends for 41 years.  His mom used to babysit my brother and me after school sometimes after we moved to the US from Italy. Woods and I were in the same grade at the same elementary school but I'd say we didn't really start hanging out a ton until high school.  That's when woods had the faux skater haircut and the faux Ford Mustang.  Then came college, where he, Felix, Kit and I all cut a lot of classes to play video games commuted to school, then after college Woods was my first roommate at Scotchhollow apartments.  I remember many nights listening to Santana and playing Jetmoto on the Playstation.  I introduced Woods to Campari (you're welcome).  I can't remember how many nights I came home from work to see him planted in front of the tv watching the movie "Heat" and staring off into the distance.  I gave Woods and Tiff the worst best man speech ever for which I have apologized both in real life and many, many times in my head.  They still chose me as the godfather to Tabitha for some reason that I'll never understand.   Woods is and has been a great friend that I've been lucky to have.  He's been working full-time since he was 17, so when the opportunity of a sabbatical from his job presented itself he jumped at the opportunity to combine two of his passions:  cycling and travel.  I think he told me it was going to be all across Scandinavia but then, you know, Covid, so it ended up as 4 weeks in Denmark.  As I mentioned earlier I invited myself.  Of course, I wasn't going to do any sort of rigorous cycling on short-notice with no training (I learned that lesson from the trek in Nepal), but a week at the tail end in Copenhagen eating and drinking sounded pretty good to me.

It was strange to say the least to be at an airport and excited to get on a plane after the last couple of years.  Half of the booths and restaurants at the SFO international terminal are closed and everyone is wearing a mask.  Masks are mandatory on the flight as well, which isn't as bad as it sounds except I had a bit of chafing behind my ears after the 10 hour flight.  Every other seat is empty unless you're traveling with other people.  Other than that, it was much the same as always.  When I arrived in Copenhagen it was 8am on a Saturday so the streets were largely empty.  I like walking around a city in the early morning to get a feel for it without the distraction of people.  My first impressions of central Copenhagen were that it smells like the sea, it's very clean and it's very bike/pedestrian friendly.

Woods and I checked into an Airbnb in Nyhavn near the harbor that was owned by an opera singer and had extremely wonky floors.  It gave the appearance that we had somehow surprised the hosts by showing up... there was the aforementioned laundry in the washer and a full load of clean dishes in the dishwasher.  We spent most of day 1 wandering around Copenhagen, having some pastries, taking the water taxi around town, buying snacks at a convenience store, and ending up at Broens street food for dinner.  I introduced Woods to the Negroni (you're welcome again).  I would also advise you to never, ever, ever eat Kim's pork cracklings if you're in Denmark.  Let's just say they didn't sit well.

The first half of day 2 was spent dealing with the aftermath of said pork cracklings, but we did salvage the second half of the day walking around town and taking the ferry to Reffen street food.  This is an outdoor street food park with probably 30-40 stalls plus a few bars.  There was a stage with a band playing Danish retro pop with hooks that wormed their way into my brain and I am still humming two weeks later.  Please please please whatever you do never listen to Blød Indeni by Thøger Dixgaard.  It will haunt your dreams.  Okay, you should listen to it.  I don't want to be alone in my struggle.  Here you go:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MSCF_Ayrg4

Woods signed us up for a Danish pastry class that ended up being taught by a French guy named Frederic Terrible.  It's okay though... he's been living in Denmark for 30 years and he used a lot of butter.  A lot.  Of.  Butter.  We learned how to make four different kinds of pastries using the same dough as a base, and it was a lot easier process than I imagined.  Happy to share the recipes with you if you're interested.  The downside of taking a class from a French pastry chef is that it's a French pastry chef.  He would come around and look at your twists and say "that's fine" then point out three things that are wrong with it and then say "but that's fine."  You could see the sweat forming on his brow from the internal struggle that was waging within him:  His knowledge that we are beginners and not professionals and he should be patient battling against the fact that we are fucking up his pastries.  Ultimately the former prevailed but it was a near thing.  Consider this a wholehearted endorsement of the class though... I wouldn't want to learn from some jackass who gives us a participation ribbon for cranking out shitty pastries.

Travelers returning to the US need to have a negative Covid test within 3 days of departure so that was our next stop.  There is an extremely well-organized testing station set up in central Copenhagen where they set up a large tent in a square outside a church with a ton of health workers.  We were in and out of there in 10 minutes.  Note:  Woods was *extremely* nervous about the test.  Denmark has completely opened up, as in zero social distancing, masks only on public transport, all restaurants and bars are fully open, etc.  It was great but it definitely played on Woods' anxiety brain.  This is a guy who would need 2-3 hours blocked off to mentally prepare for work when he was stocking the milk box at the grocery store.  Anyhow, nothing to worry about we were both in the clear.  We then took a harbor tour on a boat piloted by Sebastian who showed us the architectural highlights with backstories and emphasized to us that there are two things that are important to the Danes:  Water (as in bodies of water) and enjoying different types of food.

The next day we took the train to Roskilde for perhaps one of the best museums I've ever visited:  The Viking Boat Museum.  I feel that "museum" is a bit of a misnomer given that there are actual woodworkers building actual Viking boats using tools and techniques from 1000 years ago.  It's a living exhibit.  Woods and I roamed around the shipyard and ended up talking to one of the woodworker/docents for 10-15 minutes about the process, techniques, how he got into it, etc.  The Vikings had all sorts of complicated ways of making their boats seaworthy and watertight using horsehair and tar between planks, and when Woods and I expressed amazement at this our new friend reminded us that they had already been building boats for 9000 years by this point.  The boat they were currently working on would take 5 years to build since they are only able to work on it during the summer season.  They have already built five other replica boats, one of which was sailed/rowed from Copenhagen to Dublin and back in 2007-2008.  Our buddy told us that he initially started out studying forestry but got into shipbuilding during his studies.  In Denmark they pay you a salary while you go to vocational school so there was no downside for him to pivot his career.  The whole concept of the museum was founded when they discovered a bunch of Viking boats that had been scuttled in an apparent attempt to block access to the fjord.  They pieced them back together back in the 1960s in order to learn about how they were crafted and built, and they are still on display at the museum.  It wasn't a good day for sailing but Woods and I jumped into one of the Viking boats and were able to spend an hour rowing out into the fjord to experience what it was like to get out on the water.  I was surprised at how little resistance the oars offered in the water but that was by design.  The Vikings wanted folks to be able to row for extended periods and not burn themselves out quickly.  Those guys were out on the water for weeks!

That evening was our fancy dinner at Kokkeriet in Copenhagen.  If you want a synopsis of what that was like, I think you can get a general idea by watching this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkaL4qHKwzA .  I will admit that fine dining is a long way from my backpacking days, but when you compress 6 months of travel down to one week you end up with a bit more disposable income.  Besides, in all the years we've known each other Woods and I have never traveled together or had a fancy meal.  So he deserved it.  Our waiter was Luca from Croatia and we were lucky enough to be in the restaurant on a Tuesday which is the testing night.  What that means that is in addition to your regular menu they give you four additional plates and ask for your feedback on them.  I will let the math and the pictures do the talking by adding up one amuse-bouche, 9 courses, 4 tasters and 8 wine pairings.  We did not get an early start the next day.  I will close this by saying it was the second-best fine dining experience I've ever had after Vinkeles in Amsterdam.

Our last touristy trip was to Helsingor, also known as Elsinore which is where Hamlet takes place.  Kronborg castle is its name, and it lies along the Danish coast a stone's throw from Sweden.  Visitors have almost complete access to the castle inside and out.  Many of the rooms have been set up and decorated with furniture and art from the appropriate periods, and there are multilingual blurbs that describe each room and its function.  You can visit the chapel and even the casements underground where folks would hide out during a siege.  There are quite a few hat-tips to Hamlet, especially the plays and movies that have been recorded on location.  You can walk all around the grounds including along a short beach where you can set foot in the Baltic sea.

Overall I had a great time hanging out with a great friend in a great country.  I'd highly recommend a trip to Denmark as I think would Woods, and his opinion should count more than mine given that he spent a total of five weeks there.  A few random observations for you:

• At first I thought that tanning salons were a thing in Denmark but after a few days I realized that there are just a lot of tan Danes.  I don't know if they tan easily or spend a lot of time outdoors or both.
• Danes speak such good English.  I don't mean just vocabulary but also slang and colloquialisms.  I never had to stretch myself beyond "hi" and "tak".
• People are fit but not as tall as I thought they would be.  Why did I think they would be tall?  I don't know.
• I never withdrew any cash in my 6 days in Denmark.  I paid for everything with my credit card.
• There are almost no Covid restrictions other than on public transport and at the airport.  Everything seemed back to normal, including the crowds.
• Architecture in Copenhagen is striking.  I'd call it modern without being oppressive or pretentious.
• It is super easy to walk everywhere, and the bike infrastructure is amazing.  There are two separate sidewalks in central Copenhangen:  one for bicycles and a raised one for pedestrians.  Both are well-marked and you will be punished if you make the mistake of walking on the bicycle path.
• There are a surprising number of hornets in Copenhagen.

Welp, at least I got one trip under my belt this year.  I'd like to go somewhere in the latter half as well but we'll see.  These are crazy times.  Hope you're all keeping safe and sane.

Here's a link to the photo album.  Enjoy!  https://photos.app.goo.gl/2y37gMpePmbpz6qa6

Take 'er easy,

Dave

The Coronegroni Vacation

Hey everybody,

Well... this is something. For those of you that may not have known, Dawn and I were in Italy from mid-February to early March.  Yes, that Italy. Usually the first thing that I think of when I return from a vacation is where I'm going to have my next vacation, but now I'm just wondering *when* I'm going to have my next vacation. I'm not quite sure what to say about our three weeks in Europe during that particular moment in time.  I was so happy to just get away from work and the house, and it was the first time in 2.5 years that Dawn and I were able to take a vacation together.  I'd been wanting to see my family, and to see my brother Stefano and his family's B&B outside of Lucca.  I'd been wanting to see Carnevale again and share that experience with Dawn.  I'd been wanting to go to Napoli and see Pompeii.   I'd been wanting to finally visit Prague.  We did all those things and yet it was... weird.

You don't expect the backdrop of your vacation to be the buildup of a global pandemic.  When we first arrived in Italy,  there were comments and discussions about Coronavirus, but folks were treating it more as a punch line to a joke than anything else.  We had our temperature screened when we landed but it was more of a laugh than anything else. Carnevale went on as it always does, the weather posing more of a threat to festivities than any virus.  We took the train to Napoli to meet Mark, visited Pompeii, ate real pizza and drank real espresso. Day by day, though, the news got worse and worse.  On the train ride back from Napoli, the screens flashed periodic updates on Coronavirus safety.  We commiserated with Stefano that this was all overblown and it would hurt their nascent B&B business.  At first, the authorities encouraged people not to overreact or panic.  A few days later, entire villages in the north were being shut down and put into quarantine.  By the end of our second week there, my niece's school was closed and the B&B's bookings had dried up.  We questioned whether we would be let into the Czech Republic for our trip to Prague, or if we would be let back into Italy if we left.  Italian hospitals in the north began to fill up.  Older people started dying.  By the time our last few days of vacation rolled around, Dawn and I worried that our flight would be among those cancelled and that we would be stuck abroad on lockdown for who knows how long.  What began with ridicule turned to concern and then to anxiety, not only for us but for the whole country it seemed.  It was not exactly a backdrop for the relaxing vacation we'd hoped for, but in spite of the circumstances we tried to make the most of it.

With my brother Stefano at Carnevale

One of the reasons we decided on a February trip was so Dawn could experience Carnevale and we didn't miss out on that.  Patrizia (my stepmom) dug a couple of costumes out of boxes so we could join the 80,000 people wandering along Viareggio's seaside promenade; eating, drinking, singing and dancing while gazing at 4-story mechanized papier-mache floats making their way down the street.  It's truly a unique experience that takes place over four weeks before lent, with five days dedicated to parades and with different parts of the city throwing nighttime parties throughout.  It's very difficult to describe the spectacle in pictures, so I posted as many videos as seem reasonable.  Still, the scale, the choreography, the exuberance and the general air of happiness are impossible to capture in a digital medium.  We went to the parades twice, bookended around our trip to Napoli so that Mark could also experience Carnevale.  We saw fireworks, we drank, we danced, we ate cuttlefish and chard risotto, and Mark and I ended up in a mosh pit during a punk/ska performance of Viareggio carnevale songs.

Pizzas at Da Michele

Right, so I said Napoli.  Within an hour of arriving we ate pizza at Da Michele and saw a dead body in the street.  The next morning we had a legit Neapolitan espresso so that completed the Napoli trifecta.  Mark is in love with this city and has been there half a dozen times.  It's easy to understand why, with its mix of history, beauty, grittiness and wonderful food... not to mention the ruins of Pompeii.  We stayed with Luigi at the Palazzo Bevilacqua where we were provided with fresh pastries every morning like sfogliatelle and baba.  We took the funicular up to Castel Sant' Angelo for views of the bay and the entire city then roamed along the Spanish quarter.  Napoli is a dirty city, with piles of garbage, lots of soot and plenty of dog poop to go around.  Did I mention the dead body?  Anyhow, there is so much to offer that you can get past all that, and I haven't even talked about Pompeii yet.  My love for ancient cities is well-documented (see Ephesus, Rome, etc.), and Pompeii was no different.  Nothing I'm going to write here is going to do a better job describing this marvel than what you will find through a cursory search on the internet, so I'm just going to say that modern-day humans are arrogant morons.  We think anything before computers was the dark ages, yet here is a city from almost 2000 years ago that had everything any human being would need to live a fulfilling life.

After returning to Viareggio and once Carnevale was over, Dawn and I retreated for a few days into the countryside to stay at La Casa di Alice, my family's B&B located outside of Lucca.  Yes, this is the part where I shill for my family.  I'm not even going to say anything... I'll include links to Tripadvisor and Booking.com reviews and you can judge for yourself.  If you want to spend a couple of days hiking, biking or just relaxing in the Tuscan hills you should check it out.  15 minutes to Lucca, 15 minutes to the beach, beautiful views and excellent food.  No, Stefano will not bake a pizza for you in his wood-burning oven.  Family only.

Before heading to Prague, my cousin forwarded me an article that they were taking special care to screen travelers coming from Italy.  We thought our flight might be cancelled, but our experience was quite the opposite.  After landing we didn't even have our temperature checked, we were simply handed a flyer that described the symptoms and that was it.  At times I enjoy being contrary, but in this instance I'm going to join the chorus and say that Prague should be visited.  Prague gives Paris a run for its money for most beautifully lit city by night.  We stayed in the old town and walked everywhere we wanted to go.  People were friendly, English is spoken everywhere and prices are reasonable.  We lucked out with crystal clear skies, which we took advantage of by climbing to the top of Petrin Tower for 360 degree hilltop views of the entire city.  We strolled through Prague Castle which was still surprisingly crowded, though I can't imagine how late February crowds compare to those at the peak of summer.  The food and beer were excellent and three days went by too quickly.  We spent the better part of a day touring the Jewish quarter, its striking/spooky/jagged cemetery and several synagogues.  When I sit down to write these stories, I always think about how to make something enjoyable to read through humor, or sarcasm, or relating an anecdote.  None of that applies here, so I'll only say that if you go to Prague you need to visit the Jewish quarter and see the names on the Pinkas synagogue walls.   Nobody enjoys putting themselves through an experience that can be emotionally turbulent, but there are events in history that should never and can never be forgotten. Put yourself through it to remember, and take something back with you as a keepsake.  I bought a small clay golem.

Our last few days were spent in Viareggio with family, enjoying their company and their food while fighting low-level anxiety about the heightening of this pandemic.  We watched a few parody videos about how the news had exaggerated the threat, but there was a more serious edge than there had been when we arrived.  Over 25% of flights were cancelled the week we departed, and Italy went on lockdown only 3 days after we left.  We weren't sure what to expect going through customs in San Francisco, but the officer seemed more concerned about whether or not I was accurately cataloguing the gifts I had brought back than the fact that we had just returned from a virus hotspot.  He did not even ask us where we flew in from... we volunteered that information.  We were waved through without checking our temperature or any further instructions, and took it upon ourselves to self-quarantine for two weeks.

Folks, before I leave you I'd like to talk about the greatest cocktail ever invented:  the Negroni.  The hipsters got a hold of it a few years ago so chances are you already know what it is, for better or for worse.  Viareggio is the home of the first ever Negroni club (Club del Negroni) and bar, where they make over a dozen variations of the cocktail as well as Negroni-based dinners.  As huge fans of this drink, Dawn and I made a point to visit this strangely artistic hole-in-the wall, and if you're ever in Viareggio you should too.  The owners are more than happy to wax poetic about their unsuccessful attempts at launching clubs all over the world, and to share their experiences creating all sorts of Negroni concoctions (try the Negroni beer).  While in Prague, we stumbled upon another "Negroni club" which, while lacking the charm of the original, still served Negroni which, honestly, is the bare minimum required to operate a Negroni club.  Good enough for us.  We also capped off our vacation with a housemade Negroni provided by Il Bresci (my dad).  Whatever it lacked in flavor was made up for in enthusiasm.  By the way, through extensive research I have determined that the best Negroni is made with Dutch Courage gin and Cocchi vermouth with a couple of dashes of orange bitters.

I hope the pictures are as fun for you to view as they were for us to snap (see link below to album).  Also, thank you moms for watching the dogs!

https://photos.app.goo.gl/FpJ7Ebn8xdWhbb2C9

Take 'er easy,
Dave

Epilogue:  I am writing this in early July and I just received the results from a blood test.  Sure enough I have Covid antibodies although strangely Dawn's results came back negative.  Can't say that I'm too surprised about testing positive... we were in Italy for 3 weeks and went to a party with 80,000 people.  When we left in mid-February, Covid was more of a shoulder shrug than an exclamation point. Now we know better and I consider myself lucky that I'm healthy and lucky that my family is doing fine.  This disease has killed and will kill a lot of people.  Wear your fucking mask please.

Ice Baths in the Jungle

Hey everybody,

I'm on a streak of Central American countries the last few years.  Dawn again couldn't join me so I had to pick somewhere relatively closeby.  I was trying to figure out where to go when my buddy Julian said "Why don't you look for a Wim Hof method class?"  I'd been practicing the WHM for a couple of years before all this life business happened with the new job and the house which someday I will write about and yes I will call that post "The Money Pit."  Anyhow, the timing was that there was a WHM retreat in Costa Rica in early August.  So I signed up and immediately got a phone call from the trainer telling me to start taking daily cold showers and hiking 3x/week for at least 45 minutes.  Oh, and bring a headlamp and boots (for snakes).

I was on the fence about whether or not to rent a car given that I was traveling alone.  It turned out to be a good decision because it's the rainy season and I'd have the autonomy to travel on my own schedule.  When picked up my Suzuki Jimny 4x4, the rental guy had four pieces of advice:  Drive defensively, don't offer the cops a bribe if they pull you over, don't try to drive through a river, and use Waze because there are no addresses in Costa Rica (!).

I spent my first few days in Uvita, a small village in the southwest corner of CR right on the Pacific coast.  The area around Uvita is known for whale watching and surfing, although there are much better waves for the latter farther north.  Given that it was rainy season, the town was relatively desolate which suited me just fine.  The only time I ever saw people was at restaurants or when I went on a whale watching boat tour.  The Marino Ballena national park is an aquatic area off the shore of Uvita that is known as a migration stop for Humpback whales.  We saw several whales and their calves swimming a few dozen feet from our boat.  The boat dropped me off on a small offshore island named Whale's Tail which is connected by a sand bridge to the mainland during low tide.

It rained during most of my stay in Uvita which suited me just fine.  The best time to be on a beach is during a rainstorm because you get it all to yourself.  It's magical.  Besides, tropical rain isn't really rain anyway.  It's showering with your clothes on.  I will also take a brief interlude to dispense unsolicited travel advice:  If you're going to bring board shorts/swim trunks on your trip, make sure to try them on before you go.  Apparently I've put on a few pounds in the last 5 years, so I was sporting a wicked muffin top while fighting to keep the velcro fly from flying open every time I hit a wave.  The sun finally decided to make an appearance on my last morning in Uvita, giving me a glimpse of the entirety of the gorgeous coastline and beach bookended by cliffs.  I can imagine what it's like in high season, but on this day there were only a few folks out for a stroll and a small surfing class in the whitewash.

Costa Ricans are known as "ticos" and their national slogan is "Pura Vida" which, as far as slogans go, is quite good.  You hear it announced over the airplane loudspeaker as you land and it's plastered on advertisements all over the airport.  I wasn't sure if it was some kind of marketing, although folks did occasionally use it as a greeting.  Especially surfers.

After Uvita it was a couple hours drive south nearly on the border with Panama to the location of the WHM retreat; a sustainable treehouse community called Finca Bellavista.  I had zero idea what to expect either from the location or from the retreat itself.  It took about 15 minutes of offroad 4-wheeling to get to the site of the Finca in the midst of the southern jungle of Costa Rica, and it was more beautifult than I imagined.  Finca Bellavista sits on 600 acres of rainforest with a river, waterfall, organic garden, hiking trails, monkeys, sloths, tropical birds and snakes.  And bugs.  The base camp is a large wooden building where folks hang out and meals are served, and there is a little rancho on the side with a large deck and a covered space for yoga and happy hour drinks.  The treehouses themselves are all privately owned but centrally managed, and our particular treehouse was owned by Ian, the WHM instructor leading the retreat.

It turns out only three of us signed up for the retreat:  me, a Bulgarian/Israeli guy named Yati who's been living in Costa Rica for 14 years, and Wallace, a 71-year old retiree from Beaufort, South Carolina.  Quite an eclectic mix.  The retreat itself was a fantastic experience.  We had a regular routine of waking up at 5AM, which is really fucking early, except that's when the sun comes out in Costa Rica and the entire jungle around you wakes up.  Maybe someone can explain to me why, if Costa Rica is parallel with Florida, it is two hours behind the eastern time zone.  Anyhow, it was a 45 minute hike down from the treehouse to the base camp, where we'd start off the day with intense breath work.  We did five cycles of deep breathing and retention, each day with a different focus.  The breath work is what got me hooked into the WHM in the first place, because I discovered I can use these techniques for relaxation, for energy, or to simply connect with your body.  After the breath work, Ian would take us through a very relaxing guided meditation, and lastly, the ice bath.  When I mention ice baths and cold showers that's usually when people tune out anything I have to say about the WHM.  If you've never been in an ice bath, you should try it.  The key is to learn to relax and breathe normally when your body is telling you to get the fuck out.  If you can learn to go with it, the feeling can become quite pleasant.  It will give you more energy than 10 cups of coffee.  There's quite a bit of information on the web on the benefits of ice baths (cardiovascular health, reduced inflammation, brown fat production) but it's the internet so take it with a grain of salt.  All I know is that it feels great... usually when it's over but still!  An ice bath in Costa Rica, however, requires one of the Finca employees to drive to a nearby town and pick up over 200 lbs of ice each day.  Every day after this cycle had been completed I felt amazing.  I learned quite a few new breath techniques that I'd love to share.  If you're interested I'd be happy to talk you through them next time I see you.

In the mornings and afternoons we'd go on hikes up the river to the waterfall, where you could lie on a rock and let the water rush over you.  We'd try more breathing exercises with pushups, including once where we performed breath work in a downpour on a deck overlooking the canopy of the jungle.  One day we drove up into the hills because Yati insisted that he could find magic mushrooms if we could get to a cow pasture (no luck).  I forgot to mention that Yati is also a natural medicine specialist.  He showed us a natural coagulant called Dragon's Blood made out of tree sap that you can use to form a pellicle over cuts and bites.  He also somehow talked me into putting some kind of local honey in my eyes after insisting it would clear up my vision.  The ensuing 10 minutes of nonstop crying could broadly be described as "clearing my vision" so technically he was correct.

There were a few other tourists staying at the Finca, although we mostly talked to the staff and volunteers who worked there.  The volunteers are mostly backpackers who exchange work (clerical, manual, teaching yoga, etc.) for a place to stay.  The intersection of people who are willing to travel to Costa Rica for a WHM retreat and backpackery volunteers produces interesting topics of conversation, including (but not limited to):

• Nutrition
• Physical and Mental health
• Natural medicine and remedies
• GMOs
• Microdosing psilocybin
• Mass hypnosis
• Vibration levels
• Mind control
• Vaccines being used for pacification
• Fluoride being used for pacification
• Tooth fillings being used for pacification
• Alien abductions
• Reptilians

I've been in a pretty square routine the last few years and it's nice to be reminded that there are multiple ways you can choose to live your life.  I didn't agree with (or even understand) some of the subjects that folks were talking about, but I enjoyed listening to the different perspectives.  That being said, if someone had mentioned "flat earth" I would have lost my shit.

I needed that retreat.  After four days in the jungle I felt more relaxed and energized than I have in a very long time.  My retreat companions were wonderful company, and I especially connected with Yati.  Some folks just have a good vibe about them.  After saying goodbye to my new friends, I had one more day before needing to head home so I decided to stay in Dominical, a small surf town a bit north of Uvita.  While this little town is easily walkable in less than 20 minutes, it contains many shops, restaurant and bars on the way to its renowned surf beach.   It even has its own microbrewery, Fuego Brew Co, that produces fairly decent beers.  I spent a couple of afternoon hours on the beach watching the surfers, and decided screw it I'm surfing too.  That excursion lasted approximately 30 minutes and mostly consisted of me popping up and then flying off a surfboard into the whitewash.  I got up once, and that's enough to say I've surfed in Costa Rica.

Overall, I loved Costa Rica and would be happy to return.  People are friendly, it's easy to get around, the food is good, I ate a lot of ceviche, the landscape is beautiful, the beaches are beautiful, the Pacific is surprisingly warm, and there are a ton of things to do.  I'd like to come back with Dawn someday and see more of this country.

Coming back home was a bit of a culture shock after I was able to detach so completely, and I thought I should try to get my thoughts into words quickly before I lost them.  I'm no longer on Facebook so this story may not make it out to all the folks that might be interested.  Feel free to share this with whomever you think would enjoy it on your preferred social media platform.

Without further ado, to view the photos click on this link:
https://photos.app.goo.gl/w3XGUHf2uvD974628

Take 'er easy,
Dave