Sand Dunes and Guano

Hey everybody,

I'm in Peru and my plan is to eat guinea pig and alpaca.  And maybe go to Macchu Picchu.  I've never been to South America, my brother and his wife are here, and that's why I'm here.  Not my most thoroughly planned adventure.  So far what I can tell you is that Peru is really, really big.  Waaaay bigger than I thought.  Long, long bus rides.  I'm enjoying being referred to as "caballero" and may insist that this continue even when I'm back in the U.S.  I have also discovered what may possibly be one of the most genius culinary inventions of all time:  Salchipapas.   It's a giant plate of french fries topped with sausage.  Then if you want Salchipapas Especial on top of that you throw a fried egg.  This may be the most awesome drunk/high munchie food ever invented.

Peruvians fear my vertical leap

Ste and Cate have been in Peru for 11 months volunteering near Cusco and this is their first real vacation since they've been here.  I met them in Arequipa, which is a good place to relax for a few days and get acclimated, spending most of your time walking around town visiting markets, drinking fruit juice and looking at the spectacular scenery of the six surrounding (active) volcanos.  It's also supposed to have the most picturesque Plaza de Armas (central square) of any city in Peru.  Arequipa is Peru's second-largest city and is also known as the "White City" which sounds very Lord of the Rings.  The only thing it has in common with Lord of the Rings however is that most of its inhabitants are the size of hobbits.  I may be the tallest man in Peru, or at the very least in the top ten.  I think i could easily dunk on 99% of Peruvians, assuming they lowered the hoop enough so that I could dunk.  When I walk down the street behind Stefano and Caterina people look at me like I'm their bodyguard.  It's kind of awesome, except when you're riding on an overnight bus whose seats are made for someone 8 inches shorter than you.  Then it's not so awesome.

From there we took an overnight bus to the small town of Paracas which is on the Pacific coast just south of Pisco.  The main reason for traveling to Paracas (besides Ste and Cate not having seen the ocean in a year) was to visit the Islas Ballestas.  A boat trip out to the islands yields excellent views of penguins, ocean birds, sea lions a giant image carved out of the sides of one of the sand dunes called El Candelabro.  It looks like an image of a candelabra, or a cactus, or maybe some other kind of religious symbol.  It's about 60 meters long and has survived because of the lack of wind on that side of the bluff.  This image was discovered in the mid-1800s but no one is sure when it was made or by whom.  The main features of the Islas Ballestas, however, is guano.  Yep, these islands are chiefly used for harvesting bird poop which is still the best organic fertilizer known to man.  Up until the last century guano used to be one of Peru's chief exports.  The poop harvest happens once every couple of years and it can get to be a few meters deep.  So now I can say I've seen an island of shit, which is nice.

Paracas also has a large coastal desert national reserve that contains many fossilized remains and some spectacular ocean views.  I was talking to Alberto (the guy who ran our hostel) and he told me that as recently as 10 years ago Paracas was simply a handful of houses with a pier.  There's been some kind of tourist explosion over the last few years that has caused massive new ongoing construction throughout the town, although most of the places look somewhat deserted due to the fact it's low season.  Alberto explained that it's mostly due to tourism for the Islas Ballestas and to the fact that Paracas has a beach.  The place gets booked solid during the summer months when Peruvians are on vacation.

Next it was on to the dunes and the desert oasis of Huacachina.  This is one of those hippy backpacker enclaves that you find in every country when traveling, where everyone seems to be of the dreadlocks/baggy pants crowd trying really hard to be "alternative" which mostly involves sitting on your ass all day talking nonsense and/or learning how to fire dance.  Or maybe you're saving the world by making flip-flops out of old tires.  Only one person approached us trying to sell weed which must mean it's low season.  That being said coming to Huacachina was absolutely 100% worthwhile.  The views over the endless sand dunes, especially around sunset, are spectactular.  And if there's one extreme activity that is worth every penny and then some, it's got to be riding a dune buggy over sand dunes.  Although Ste and I will probably suffer some sort of degenerative vertebrae damage in our later years it was totally worth it.  I tried to upload a video but the high-speed Peruvian internet said it would take about 274 minutes so maybe next time.

Now I'm in Puno so the next set of pictures will be from the higher altitudes and, of course, Lake Titicaca, which I have enjoyed talking about since the 4th grade.  For now, here are the pics...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/SDKCsBsPTRqSjXVW7

Take 'er easy,
Dave

Last Days in Thailand

Hey everybody,

Everything is cold and I don't remember how to wear shoes.  Those are the overwhelming feelings I have after being back in San Francisco for 10 hours.  Oh Thai humidity... thou art my master!   I've had so much to do the last couple of weeks that I don't think it's really sunk in yet that I left.   I feel like I can walk out and take the skytrain to Siam station any time I want.  The next few days are going to be weird.

Anyhow, the last few beach days in Phuket went by incredibly quickly.  I finished my training at Rawai almost two weeks ago and have been missing it ever since.  I find myself being jerked out of sleep by taking a swing at some imaginary bag.  I've been really, really antsy... having this gnawing feeling in the back of my mind that I need to hit something.  I should probably stay away from children and the elderly until I'm able to get back to the gym.  I'm going to have to come back and train again, and I'll probably end up staying at the same bungalow place on Naiharn beach, drunken cooks, ladyboys and all.  And of course the group of old white guys that shows up every day without exception between noon and 1 o'clock and drinks large beers for about six hours.  I asked the staff how long they'd been doing this and the answer was about two years.  Oh, and if you want to see what a couple of rounds of pad work with a trainer at the gym look like, here you go...


http://youtu.be/PssECmrqoUk?hd=1

Hey, I didn't say they'd be quality rounds.

Not exactly a chameleon

After Phuket it was back to Bangkok for the final week or so of my stay.  It was also Lee's last week in Thailand after spending a year teaching English in Bangkok, and Mark flew in from Liverpool for a few days as well.  It was the first time we'd been in Thailand together since 2005.  Lee was even more jumpy than usual trying to get all his last-minute stuff sorted out not to mention the fact that he quit his job with no notice.  Well, it wasn't exactly no notice.  Lee's genius plan was to tell them on Monday that he had to fly home immediately for a family emergency... but his flight didn't leave until Saturday.  This posed a logistical challenge because it meant that Lee had about a two-mile radius in central Bangkok that he had to avoid during the week so that no teachers or students would see him.  This also meant that we basically couldn't use the skytrain for a 12-hour window each day.  It actually wasn't that bad until that one day where Lee and I had to end up taking a cab across town in the middle of rush hour, which ensures at least a one hour cab ride.  The driver spoke pretty good English so we chatted a bit and Lee told him that he was a teacher but needed to avoid going near his school, which was closeby.  So the cab driver says that he knows a shortcut to get through the traffic, takes a couple of lefts and turns right up the street of Lee's school!  At this point Lee is sprawled across the back seat with his shirt pulled over his head.  The street is blocked off as students and teachers are streaming out of the school building at 5 pm.  The driver decides and head back so he pulls INTO THE DRIVEWAY OF THE SCHOOL to turn the car around.  A bunch of security guards head toward the car yelling in Thai and the driver says "Don't worry... he's a teacher here!" and points to Lee who is still hiding in the back seat completely paralyzed with disbelief.  I, of course, am laughing hysterically (in a sympathetic way).  I have no idea how we managed to drive Lee through this gauntlet of about 1000 people without anybody stopping or recognizing him.  It might have had to do with the fact that he was hugging the floor mat.

We mostly spent the week in a celebratory mood eating and drinking together.  On Lee's last night out we made a mandatory stop into a girly bar in Nana, where for the first time I saw Mark register a look of pure horror as he saw what to me looked like fairly ordinary depravity (for a Thai girly bar anyway).  Well, I do have to admit that I've never seen a soaped-up woman inside a glass booth/shower in the center of a strip club before.  The upshot is that at least you know she's clean.  We didn't stay long... I think we spent more time eating sandwiches at Subway later that night.  In the rush to get out we left my buddy Jon behind... as far as I know he may still be there.

Eventually both Mark and Lee left, and Lee's departure was especially emotional.  He's absolutely loved his time in Bangkok and has found a group of excellent friends.  I left town for a couple of days and headed to the countryside to visit Roger and Denise, my friends from when I was living in Bend who have spent almost two years as volunteers for the Peace Corps.  They live in a small rural village called Natakut working in schools and with a local government office.  Well, when I say "working" I mean they try to work but mostly get the runaround from local bureaucrats.  I learned a lot about how the Peace Corps works in Thailand, which is that it's more of a "cultural exchange" than any sort of development organization.  Roger and Denise have had to struggle not only to find projects to work on but to convince the locals to work with them.  They're both happy they've had the experience but I think they're looking forward to heading home in February.  Honestly, the weirdest part of the whole trip may have been seeing both of them speaking fluent Thai.

And then there were three:  Rich, Cari and me.  I don't know what I'm going to do without those two.  I don't know what they're going to do without me.  The last couple of days in Bangkok are kind of a blur... I bought a bunch of t-shirts and four tubes of that Herbal Salt toothpaste... we went to a fish spa where the little fish bite your feet... we partied on the Khao San road... Mui came up for a day and gave me some final lessons in Thai language... it was great.  And also sad.  I love Thailand.  I could easily see myself spending a year doing something like teaching English, learning Thai, training muay thai and bjj and it would fly by.  The people are great, the food is great, there's always something to do...  I'm going to miss it.  I know I'll be back, though.  I always come back.

Here are the pictures...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/MHnREmDFH8X6eekY6

Take 'er easy,
Dave

Return to Khao Lak

Hey everybody,

Back in September of 2005 I came to Thailand to volunteer for a couple of weeks after responding to an ad I found in the midst of a search for direction on Craigslist.  As most of you know on Craigslist you are much more likely to find an S&M three-way than the meaning of life, but the two weeks volunteering ended up turning  into six months... septic holes were dug, houses were built, beer was drunk, lasting friendships were made, and it turned out to be one of the seminal experiences of my life.

The houses by the pier on Koh Kho Khao

I'm not going to go into detail about that  (there are quite a few posts on this site from that time period if you're interested) other than to say that last weekend Rich and I made a return to Khao Lak:  Rich for the first time since he left in February 2006.  I had already returned once back in September of 2009 which probably explains why I didn't have as emotional a response now as I did then.  The Khao Lak area had always catered to tourists but when we first arrived in 2005 it was still in the midst of rebuilding and recovery from the tsunami.  I saw many changes in the six months that I was there as businesses re-opened but I definitely wasn't prepared to see anything like a strip mall or a McDonald's when I returned in 2009.  Of course I knew it had to change if the local tourist economy was going to pick up where it left off before the disaster, but in your mind you still have the idea of the place as it was, frozen in time or preserved under glass.  I was not surprised when we arrived last week to see a Khao Lak that is only superficially recognizable from the one in 2005.  There have been so many new stores and businesses opened up on top of each other that you have to search out the names that were once familiar to you... they are no longer obviously sticking out on the main street but crowded around by overlapping signage and building.  The Fisherman bar occupies about 1/3 of the space it used to and you'd be likely to miss it from the street unless you specifically were seeking it out.  On the other hand, some of the more successful businesses like Jai's or Khao Lak Seafood have built second and even third stories on top of their buildings or further additions going back up the hill.  And of course there are those places that no longer exist, unfortunately, like Nom's or Father & Son.  Sorry Max, I guess we'll never know if they still serve the frostiest beer in town.  Oh, and the Tsunami Volunteer Center building is now a guesthouse.

On the ferry to Koh Kho Khao

We drove north to Koh Kho Khao and rode the ferry across to see how our houses are holding up and I'm happy to say that all the houses look lived-in and cared for.  Many of the houses have even been expanded on the ground floor either to create additional living space or, in a couple of cases, shops and restaurants operating out of the house.  At first glance there seemed to be fewer houses on the beach than I remembered but it was probably just my memory playing tricks on me.  The pier on the island has definitely been developed but being low season it's hard to tell if they get any significant amount of tourism.  From there we drove back south to Bang Sak to take a look at some of the houses we worked on in that town and then to see the playground that had been inaugurated in late 2005.  Where Khao Lak has moved forward it seems like Bang Sak has receded.  Rich and I both swore that you used to be able to see the beach from the main road but this is now an impossibility... the vegetation has grown so much that any view has been obstructed.  That's why we had such a hard time finding the playground, and when we did, well, I think you'll have to look at the pictures.  Basically it looks like the playground hasn't been used since the night we inaugurated it 7 years ago.  The whole thing has been overrun by plants and grass.  There used to be a few nice restaurants on the beach but now they look all but abandoned.  Here are some comparison pictures of how things looked in 2005 and how they look today:

The main road in Khao Lak:

2005

Today... doesn't capture all the stores

The internal row of houses on Koh Kho Khao:

Then

Now

Bang Sak Playground:

Inauguration in 2005

Today

We stopped in Khao Lak on the way back for a beer at Fisherman Bar because, well because we had to.  Gai the bartender recognized Rich from the volunteer days and we talked for a bit as well as we could about how business was going.  He said that a lot more tourists were coming to town, which is good, but a lot more bars had opened up, which is bad, so basically it's a wash for him.  He had to start serving food in order to attract more customers and, from what it looked like to us, take on a farang partner.  On the plus side, Gai seemed calm and friendly which is a nice change from those of us who remember those episodes from back in the day where he'd suddenly go nuts and kick everyone out of the bar.

Rich and I have talked about it a bit since.  I think he was glad to go but a bit surprised at the extent of the development, as well as disappointed at the state of the jungle in Bang Sak.  We're both proud of the work that we did and really happy to see that the houses are still solid and lived in.  For me, as I mentioned I think I'd had my emotional reaction when I was there a few years ago.  The visit made me reflective more than anything else.  It's been 7 years!  How has my life changed since then?  Am I a better person?  Do I have a clearer sense of direction?  Why am I asking you?

Getting friendly with Pon

Everything else has been holding steady, except the weather.  Looks like I lucked out my first few sunny weeks in Phuket because the last 10 days have been almost nonstop rain.  Rich and Cari went to Koh Phi Phi for a few days which they said was nice but full of drunk English people.  We've made friends with a lot of the people who work at the resort since that's typically what happens when you're rained in, and by friends I mean they keep inviting us over to hang out with them and drink shots and try to have a coherent conversation.  Lao Kao is the brand of choice, which is a clear, cheap rice alcohol that tastes about as you imagine it would.  The main instigator is Pon, the 40-year-old grandmother who runs the kitchen who  also has a half-French 4 year-old daughter from a deadbeat dad.  She's not shy about sharing information.  Every night like clockwork at 8 pm she's sitting around a table (along with Om the receptionist and Joy the largely toothless ladyboy) downing booze.  All the men, on the other hand, are inside the little minimart drinking shots of whiskey and we haven't really figured out why they all hang out separately.  Then there's my neighbor Paco, the unemployed Spanish tattoo artist whose girlfriend back home sells his stuff on eBay in order for him to have spending money and who has befriended the rat living in his room.  The training is going pretty well... I've had a couple of trainers tell me that I should fight, like a real fight for money.  I told them that I like beer and I don't like to run.  Maybe if I had another month here... I'd probably end up hurting myself.

Last weekend I talked Rich and Cari into coming to see a movie with me in First Class, which is the fancy part of the movie theater in Phuket Town.  It costs $20 but when you walk in through the doors there's a lounge for first-class ticketholders only where they lay out a buffet spread of finger foods and bring out drinks for the guests.  Since we were the only three people in the first class lounge that day, Rich and I ate 4 mini-burgers each, along with crab salad, pasta and a few pieces of cake.  Then when the movie starts they come out and bring you to your assigned seat, which happens to be a recliner with a blanket, and they then bring you a bowl of popcorn and a drink of your choice.  All this pampering may seem incongruous with the film choice of "Expendables 2" but trust me... it works.  The next day we went to Mui's house and cooked him a Mexican dinner (fish tacos, salsa, guacamole, chips and ceviche), which was surprisingly easy to organize except for the tortillas, which as you may imagine are not easy to find in  Thailand.  My experiment with Thai corn flour went somewhat poorly and is dissolving somewhere in Mui's backyard.  Oh, and in case you were wondering what the weather's been like over the last couple of weeks, take a look:

http://youtu.be/PYZI5Rj13zw

This is my last week in Phuket and I find myself becoming surprisingly wistful over the thought of leaving.  I didn't start off thinking I'd become attached but I've had a great experience here.  From the excellent training, to the bungalow on the beach, to the cryptic wisdom of Mui, and to good times with Rich and Cari, it's turned out to be a pretty special experience.  I'm going to miss it when I leave, though the signal that it's time to go may have been the other night when I got a knock at my door at 11 o'clock and it was Pon the cook.   It was a sort of drunk dial except in person.  Then she said a few things really fast and I only understood "drink", "ladyboy" and "sleeping" so I said "Yes, sleeping" and then she left.  So yeah, it's probably time to move on.

Here are the pictures.  Picasa broke them up into two albums for some reason...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/787HRaMA3rQrdo7K9

and

https://photos.app.goo.gl/AJwuUQtbVyiFj25fA

Take 'er easy,
Dave

Update from Siam

Hey everybody,

View from the bungalow

I know it's been a few weeks since my last post but I figured I should write something to let people know that I'm not dead.  Other than that I don't have a whole lot of interesting stories or amusing anecdotes or picturesque landscapes to share with you because I've been living in Phuket going to the beach and training and that's about it.  I feel as though I may have come off as a little too critical in my last write-up so let me state for the record that I love Thailand.  At the end of this trip I will have spent approximately 10 months of my life here and that is not by accident or coincidence.  I've had some of the best experiences of my life and met some of my closest friends here.  That doesn't mean I have to be crazy about the sex tourism here but that's part of the experience since as Pop said... everything is ok. I was talking to Mui the other day and he was telling how open the culture is about sexuality, that it's fine if you're gay or transgender or a ladyboy, in fact you'll see ladyboys working behind the counter at a Dairy Queen in Bangkok or a KFC here in Phuket.  Gay teachers, doctors, whatever... not a problem.  He told me there's even a "pink channel" on tv dedicated to gay programming.  For those of you that know Mui this was thankfully not one of those moments where he was speaking in riddles; what he was saying is pretty straightforward.   And I don't want to sound cynical about the possibility of romance, people do find love here.  There are many Thai-farang families around who seem to be perfectly happy.  I even know a few happy couples myself.  If you respect and embrace the culture and you find somebody that's right for you, Thailand can be a pretty groovy place to settle down.

Mui and I got to talking a little bit about how Thailand is so accommodating to farang and he summed it up pretty succinctly:  "Life here for farang is easy."  Whether you're super-rich or on a tight budget you'll find something for you.  Then I admitted to him that sometimes when I reflect on the fact that the only reason I can stay here for a month at a bungalow on the beach is that it costs $10 a night it seems slightly unfair, like I'm taking advantage of economic inequality, and I wondered if Thai people were ever resentful of that.  I know Mui can't speak for every Thai person but he said he doesn't think so.  It's a two-way transaction since tourism fuels such a large part of the country's economy.  I got into the same conversation with Yok, the guy who runs a restaurant a couple of miles away from my bungalow.  He lived in London for 10 years before moving back to Phuket to be with his family.  He said Europe is too expensive so of course people like coming to Thailand, and with the European economy in the tank they've seen way more Russian and Chinese tourists coming in the last 4 or 5 years.  Yeah, no shit.  Most of the signs for businesses are in Thai, English, and Cyrillic letters and when you sit down at a restaurant you're as likely to hear Russian as English at the next table over.  That's definitely a big change from the last time I was here.

Mui's right though, life is easy.  I've settled into a pretty sweet groove.  I train, I go to the beach, I read, and every once in a while go out with some of the crew from the gym.  I've given myself a goal to try every Thai restaurant and street food stand in a 3-mile radius... so far I think I've hit about 15 different places and have maintained the diarrhea average below 10%.  And of course it's the little things that get me hooked on Thailand... many people are aware of my affinity (perhaps obsession) for papaya salad, larb, Birdy, coconut yogurt and Herbal Salt toothpaste.  Not all together.  I also just enjoy saying larb.  Larb.  The one main drawback of semi-living in Thailand is, of course, Thai pop music...  which rivals only Italian pop music in terms of horrific mind-numbing banality.  You also get treated to cover versions of 80s soft-rock classics such as this timeless number...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9e157Ner90

Anyhow, the muay thai training is fantastic.  The classes are two hours each, twice a day at 7 AM and 5 PM.  After warmups there are five rounds of bag work then 5 rounds either sparring or working 1-on-1 with a trainer.  Then there are three rounds of either grappling, technique work, kick drills, or my favorite:   Learning the Wai Khru which is the ceremonial dance that each Muay Thai fighter performs in the ring before his fight.  Sometimes the sparring sessions are done with the trainers, you know, guys who have had like 300 pro fights.  They'll let you get a couple of jabs in and then throw some crazy flying knee at you then laugh.  I'm learning a ton but it's completely kicking my ass.  I'm not sure when exactly it happened but I'm now at the point when I start to wonder if age is a factor.  When you're 25 and you're sore you're just sore.  When you're 39 you ask yourself if you're sore because you got your ass kicked or because you're old.  Stupid aging.  Some of these guys I'm sparring against are 19.  I'm leaning against the ropes between rounds in a pool of my own sweat and these jerks are bouncing around like kangaroos on meth.  So... you know... fuck them.  Maybe sometimes they accidentally get a knee in the ribs.  Accidentally.

Here's a pretty good short video of what the Wai Khru looks like before a fight:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k92ibgC1JXo

Anyway, I didn't use to think about age much but for some reason it's come up quite a few times since I quit my job a few months ago.  Maybe it's the traveling around and meeting new people so it comes up more often, or maybe it's some overarching philosophical turning point in life, or maybe I just have too much free time.  It's most likely something inbetween.  I've been trying to figure out exactly when it is that you turn the corner physically into "old" and I think it's when you start making sounds when you stand up or sit down.  Something like a like a grunt or "Ooof" or "Mrgh" some kind of sound that signals it's a strain to get up out of a chair.  You know what I'm talking about.

Anyhow, Rich and Cari showed up a few days ago so I'm no longer abstaining from beer.   I still haven't had coffee in a few weeks which is not making the 7 AM classes any easier.  Other than that... life is good.  No pictures to share this time but I'll send an update after we take a trip to Khao Lak.

Take 'er easy,
Dave

Phuket: Where Pheople come to Phuck

Hey everybody,

Traveling to a city or country in a warm-weather climate where the average temperature exceeds 85 degrees will instantly fry the brain of any man from San Francisco.  It has nothing to do with the temperature per se, but with the results of that temperature:  sun dresses and mini-skirts.  You see, as males from San Francisco, we are not used to seeing these items of clothing except in magazines and on television.  They are spoken of in reverential terms, when your friends return from a vacation in Cabo San Lucas or a summertime business trip to New York.  Then you travel to a tropical country and there are skirts all around you and your mental defenses are overwhelmed.  You're only used to seeing sundresses once or twice a year and now you're seeing them every day and even at night!  It turns you into some sort of leering caricature for the first week or so, or at least it did Paul and me.  And believe me, it's not the ladies of San Francisco's fault... it's freakin freezing in the summer!  That probably helps explain why they're so chippy sometimes:  lack of wardrobe options.  The whole summer catalog is out of the question outside of maybe two weeks in September.  I feel for you, ladies.  I feel for me.  It's a tough situation for all of us.

On a positive note, you'll be happy to know there have been no lingering side effects from the Incident On Ko Samet That Shall Never Be Discussed and that everything has healed up quite nicely.  Paul and I returned to Bangkok for one last night out for the crew that was returning home, and Pop took us out for a night on the town culminating with a visit to The Big Apple.  Before I spend too much time describing what goes on at The Big Apple, I realize that it's probably going to sound worse than it is.  I'm going to give it a shot anyway because that's what I do and if you're going through the effort of actually reading what I write I figure you deserve it.  In an effort to protect the innocent, I shall change their names to Bop, Dandy and Maul.  Ok, back to The Big Apple.  First off, we were the only farang (foreigners) in the place.  You walk in and there are rows and rows of tables and stools with two catwalks and a pretty solid live band playing in the front of the room.  I don't know how to describe it other than to say it's an "arm candy" bar.  You call a guy over and agree to buy X bottles of whiskey, depending on the size of your group.  Then the guy goes away and comes back a few minutes later with a lineup of anywhere from 4-8 very attractive Thai women.  And yes, the first thing I thought of when they brought over this lineup is that scene from Enter The Dragon where they all get to pick a woman (and Jefferson picks four... I loved that scene).  And yes, having someone bring you a lineup of women is surreal and a bit weird, bordering on uncomfortable.  Anyway, at that point you pick one that you like (or you don't) and she hangs out with you the rest of the night, which means dancing with you, pouring you a lot of drinks, making small talk, etc, etc.  And that's it.  No sex, no kissing, no stripping, none of that stuff... just hanging out, dancing, maybe sidling up to each other, but that's it.  Pop... I mean Bop... called it "girlfriend mode."  They hang out with you as long as you want, usually until you leave, unless you picked a woman with a special outfit who's called a "coyote."  The coyotes have to get up on the catwalk and dance about once every half hour or so.  As I stated before, I will endeavor to protect the innocent so I will not mention who picked a girl and who flew solo, but it was all around a unique experience and we all slept in the next morning (except Paul who absolutely had to get up at 8 AM so he could go to the Chatuchak market to buy a bedspread or some shit).

Now I feel I have to have the obligatory conversation about sex tourism.  I've read a few books and several stories about the forced sex slavery that occurs in south-east Asia where Burmese women are tricked into coming to Thailand with the promise of work and then are forced into prostitution in brothels to "work off the debt" that was incurred by transporting them across the border.  I think we can all agree that is abhorrent.  I also know a few guys who come to Thailand for a week and all they do every day is get massages with happy endings.  I'm not on board with that either.  Plus you have to wonder how many of these guys have families back home and are taking a sex vacation from their wives.  And then there's the old white guys with the younger Thai women.  To be honest, I've sort of come to terms with that.  Maybe it's because I have some sort of sympathy for these desperate old guys, or maybe it's because I have no real ethical problem with prostitution as long as both sides are choosing it of their own free will, or maybe it's because it seems like a more fair transaction to me... the guy pays for companionship and sex, the woman gets taken out to vacation spots, restaurants, and hotels, probably gets some cash... I don't know the details but she gets something out of it and as far as I can tell she's free to go.  I do know that it's not limited to old guys... there are a lot of younger guys with Thai girlfriends.  It's also not limited to men.  I've seen quite a few ladies with Thai guys, though it's a very small percentage.  The thing is that in most of the cases when you see these couples sitting down to dinner or drinks there is absolutely no conversation happening.  It looks boring as hell.  I guess what I'm saying is that it's still weird but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to for some reason.

And then I came to Phuket.  Holy shit.  Everywhere you look there are girly bars filled with leathery, shirtless old men.  Occasionally, if the bar is equipped with a pole, you'll see one of the ladies going through vague dancing motions while staring vacuously into space.  You can't walk by one of these establishments without some woman yelling, "Hello handsome man" or "Hello sexy man" or even just shrieking "Yaaaah" to get your attention.  I mean, it's not that I'm not handsome or sexy (I can be, given the correct lighting and makeup) but I'm pretty sure I'm not the first guy they've yelled at.  I found a bungalow place near the Rawai Muay Thai training camp... I'm talking maybe 100 meters away... which required me to pass by 4 (four!) girly bars on the way to the gym.  It's some sort of girly bar gauntlet which may or may not be part of the training.  It's getting to the point where I'm wondering if you automatically get a Thai girl whenever you rent a motorbike.

Speaking of the training, let me just say that considering the amount of Tiger Balm I have been applying daily I would not be surprised if you can smell it across continents.  Everything hurts.  I haven't done shit in four months other than sit behind the wheel of a car and sample various microbrews (I am not looking good in those Muay Thai shorts), then I decide I'm going to train for two hours a day in 90 degree heat so that's what I get.  There are quite a few people training (from beginners to pro fighters) and there are many camps around the island.  There's a French former pro fighter at Rawai who brought three or four kids under 12 years old each of whom had a fight lined up (all of them won).  Honestly, though, the hardest part won't be the training but how long I can last in Phuket.  It's so damn touristy... even more than I remember.  Almost every square inch of available space along the beaches or on the main roads has been taken up by some sort of enterprise:  bar, restaurant, massage, minimart, laundry, motorbike rental, or some combination of all of those things.  It's low season now so I can't even imagine what it's going to be like come November.  I don't know how much I can take of these shirtless tattooed morons riding around on their motorbikes.  And yes, now that I'm writing this the irony does not escape me that I look just like these assholes.  Hm.  I may need to review some things.

I can't complain too much though.  I moved to a bungalow that's right on a quiet beach (Naiharn Beach) that is mercifully free of girly bars.  It's a little bit out of the way but I rented a motorbike so I can get around (yes... my transformation is complete... although I wear a shirt and a helmet).  I can hang out on my little stoop and read or surf the internet while listening to the ocean.  I know Lee and Rich and Cari are going to come visit, and honestly if I step up the training I think all I'll be doing at that point is eating and sleeping and having an occasional swim.  So that's not so bad.

On top of that I have Mui here as my go-to guy if I need anything.  The first couple of nights I was in Phuket I stayed at his place and got to experience the thrill of going to Super Cheap... the Thai version of Costco except they're actually deep-frying food inside the warehouse.  It smells fantastic.  Mui also had me try this incredibly spicy Thai anchovy paste that you eat with rice, or vegetables, or toast which is powerfully delicious but in large quantities can give you stomach cramps.  Trust me on that.  And Thai anchovies aren't for everybody.  Mui showed me how to make the paste (we had to cook outside) and when he took the anchovies out of the jar it smelled like that time Sam Woods threw a dead fish in the back of my Jeep Cherokee back in college and I didn't discover it for three days.  Then when you eat the paste it really coats your mouth... like you may have to brush your teeth five or six times to thoroughly get rid of the taste.  Mui said that a lot of Thai people don't even like the paste, so I got that going for me.  Which is nice.  We also took a day trip out to Ao Phang Nga national park by long-tail boat which is essentially a large bay with a multitude of limestone islands.  One of the islands they actually call James Bond Island because it was Scaramanga's hideout in The Man With The Golden Gun.  There are loads of fishermen along with loads of tourists roaming the islands up to Ko Panyee which is an inhabited island where all the buildings are up on stilts.

And this is where the question becomes how much tourism is too much?  As Mui and I were roaming around the island it seemed like every footpath was completely lined by merchants and vendors selling trinkets, t-shirts, posters... all that stuff.  If you're an actual inhabitant of this island, say, a fisherman, there's no way for you to get away from the tourists.  We even saw some guy go right up to a fisherman who was washing his face to take pictures.  Thai people are generally nice so they can't say no, but this kind of stuff is why generally the more touristy a place is the less nice the people are.  The thing is, though, that it's a two-way street.  Tourism generates so much revenue in Thailand that people see it as a guaranteed way to make money.  On top of that there's hardly any sort of regulation so that's why you see the massive explosion in establishments on Phuket and just about everyplace else.  That's also why Mui can't do anything about the guy who opened  up a garbage dump right next to his house, but that's another story.  I think I said this after I was here in 2006 and again in 2009, but if you want to find any part of this beautiful country that is a little more low-key or unspoiled I think you can find it if you search hard enough, but if you wait another 5-10 years you're going to be out of luck.

I don't have a ton of pictures from this last week, but here they are...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/dAd2SdNZzNP3SEsy7

Take 'er easy,
Dave

Pop's Wedding

Hey everybody,

It's been three years since I was last in Thailand and judging by the laughter when I attempt to order dinner my pronunciation of the Thai language has not improved appreciably during that time.  Luckily I've been hanging out with Pop so I haven't had to do much other than say hello and goodbye and I'm hungry.  Speaking of Pop, those of you who know him are probably familiar with the fact that his English can sometimes be... let's say a bit challenging to understand.  I do pretty well but I've known Pop for 13 years.  Julian said once that Pop and I are like Chewbacca and Han Solo because I'm the only one who understands what he's saying.  Anyhow, when you see Pop in Thailand it's a whole other story.  The guy is constantly talking, bargaining, making people laugh, on the phone, and is as smooth as can be.  I don't understand what he's saying but you can tell by the body language and by other people's reactions that the guy has a way with words.  I asked him if it's frustrating for him when he's in the U.S. that he obviously can't communicate the same way that he can in Thai.  Pop just shrugged his shoulders and said that as long as he has friends who are patient with him when he's trying to get something across it's no big deal (mai pen rai).  I, on the other hand, can speak fluent Italian but I fly into an internal rage when I'm in Italy and somebody makes a joke I don't get or utters some colloquialism I can't understand.  That's the difference between Thais and Italians I guess.  Well, that and body hair.

Thailand is very familiar to me since I've spent a good chunk of time here but it still takes a few days of adaptation.  I think I've described Bangkok as organized chaos before and that hasn't changed.  Everyone seems to be conducting their everyday business out on the street and between the market stalls, the crowds on the sidewalk and the ambulatory vendors there's barely any room to walk.  I spent the first couple of days following Pop around as he was running errands in preparation for his wedding.  It gave me the chance to pepper him with questions about Thai culture, the economy, ladyboys, sex tourism... basically anything that came to mind about Thailand.  Pop summed up the Thai philosophy very succinctly:  "Thai people are ok with anything."  There's more to it than that but that is the basic gist.  By the time Ramanan and the others arrived a few days later I was mostly over the jetlag and one step ahead of the rest of the group.  Paul arrived a day late... he missed his flight because he got AM and PM mixed up.  Come on... who does that?

Paul claims he was wiping off sweat but that looks like a pit check

We had one full tourist day before the wedding where Randy, Paul and I packed in visits to the golden Buddha, Wat Pho and the Grand Palace.  I'd seen a couple of these on previous trips but it was worth a return trip, especially for the reclining Buddha.  You'll see from the pictures that it's an enormous statue of the buddha that's maybe 30 feet high and over 100 feet long with intricate inscriptions on the soles of the feet.  It was also remarkable to see that the temples and palaces are kept so meticulously shiny.  The paint looks fresh and the small pieces of stained glass that make up the outside of most of the buildings look almost new.  That evening we sat ringside and saw two knockouts in nine bouts of Muay Thai fights at Ratchadamnoen stadium.  Of course we had to pay farang (foreigner) prices for the tickets although smooth Pop got us a 300 baht discount.  Over the course of the day Paul impressively sweat through two shirts and in the week I've been here has already done laundry twice.

As many of you know I'm a tremendous fan of weddings.  I don't have an accurate count but I think I've been to over 50 weddings, been a member of the wedding party 10 times and have officiated two myself (thank you Universal Life Church).  This was definitely the earliest I've had to get up for a ceremony... we had to be at Kae's house by 5 AM because that's when the fortune teller told Pop that they had to start .  Since Pop and Kae are ethnically Chinese it was a mixture of Thai and Chinese customs, one of which was the procession bearing gifts into the bride's house.  Paul and I got the plate of raw pork shoulder and liver which would've been fine except Pop took a while to negotiate with Kae's family to let us in and that pork was heavy.  And it was 5 AM.  And it was liver.  After we got inside there were more negotiations and more jokes and and more red envelopes as we made our way up the stairs until we got to the top floor of Kae's house where they wouldn't let us pass unless we sang a song.  So we decided on the only song that apparently is known both in the U.S. and in Thailand... Jingle Bells.  And so there we were at 5 AM in a Bangkok suburb smelling like pork liver and singing Jingle Bells at the top of our lungs with a bunch of Thai people as part of a wedding ritual.  You can't make that up.

The happy couple.  That's them on the right.

The rest of the ceremony consisted of the two families sitting together and talking then exchanging gifts, money, and eventually rings.  Pop's uncle talked quite a bit and there was a lot of laughing and clapping and general happiness all around.  There were a few poignant moments however because Pop's dad had unexpectedly passed away only a couple of weeks ago.  You would have never been able to tell from the general demeanor of the Thapanangkun family, even for the few days that I stayed at Pop's house, but there were a few moments during the ceremony and especially at the reception later in the evening where things understandably became a bit emotional.  I really felt for Pop because it was obvious that he's been feeling a lot of conflicting emotions during the last couple of weeks, and through it all it seemed like his greatest concern was for us (his foreign friends) and whether we were ok.  That's just the kind of guy that he is... Pop is probably the most genuinely generous person that I know.  I'm really, really happy for him because Kae is a fantastic person with a terrific spirit and they seem good for each other.  The reception was later that evening with a live band, a nine-course meal, two emcees, speeches by Pop and Kae and a bouquet toss that was strictly for foreigners.  I'm pretty sure Pop and Kae didn't eat or sleep all day but Pop still wanted to take us out for a beer on Soi Cowboy, I think mostly to see if we could tell the ladyboys from the actual women.

The last couple of days Paul and I have been lounging around on Ko Samet, an island about 3 hours east of Bangkok, not really doing much of anything but in a good way.  It's rainy season so it's not too crowded which is a stark counterpoint to Bangkok.  Our only task for today was to sort out a bus back to the city for tomorrow.  Then we walked 50 yards to lunch, then maybe another 20 yards to the beach, then maybe another 50 yards to get a foot massage.  Now we're trying to get up the energy to walk to dinner.  I don't even know what day it is.

Here are the pics...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/yBsZXTLuGK1112pd9

Take 'er easy,
Dave

Bresh across the U.S.

Hey everybody,

In the immortal words of David St. Hubbins... There's a fine line between stupid and clever.  When spending a bunch of time driving alone you tend more toward the former.  To wit, I took a bunch of videos during the course of the trip, some of which you've already seen, and I've compiled them into a random, somewhat disjointed 15-minute travelogue.  For those of you that prefer movies to books, you're welcome.

http://youtu.be/Q5ms541NH1k

Take 'er easy,
Dave