It's been three years since I was last in Thailand and judging by the laughter when I attempt to order dinner my pronunciation of the Thai language has not improved appreciably during that time. Luckily I've been hanging out with Pop so I haven't had to do much other than say hello and goodbye and I'm hungry. Speaking of Pop, those of you who know him are probably familiar with the fact that his English can sometimes be... let's say a bit challenging to understand. I do pretty well but I've known Pop for 13 years. Julian said once that Pop and I are like Chewbacca and Han Solo because I'm the only one who understands what he's saying. Anyhow, when you see Pop in Thailand it's a whole other story. The guy is constantly talking, bargaining, making people laugh, on the phone, and is as smooth as can be. I don't understand what he's saying but you can tell by the body language and by other people's reactions that the guy has a way with words. I asked him if it's frustrating for him when he's in the U.S. that he obviously can't communicate the same way that he can in Thai. Pop just shrugged his shoulders and said that as long as he has friends who are patient with him when he's trying to get something across it's no big deal (mai pen rai). I, on the other hand, can speak fluent Italian but I fly into an internal rage when I'm in Italy and somebody makes a joke I don't get or utters some colloquialism I can't understand. That's the difference between Thais and Italians I guess. Well, that and body hair.
Thailand is very familiar to me since I've spent a good chunk of time here but it still takes a few days of adaptation. I think I've described Bangkok as organized chaos before and that hasn't changed. Everyone seems to be conducting their everyday business out on the street and between the market stalls, the crowds on the sidewalk and the ambulatory vendors there's barely any room to walk. I spent the first couple of days following Pop around as he was running errands in preparation for his wedding. It gave me the chance to pepper him with questions about Thai culture, the economy, ladyboys, sex tourism... basically anything that came to mind about Thailand. Pop summed up the Thai philosophy very succinctly: "Thai people are ok with anything." There's more to it than that but that is the basic gist. By the time Ramanan and the others arrived a few days later I was mostly over the jetlag and one step ahead of the rest of the group. Paul arrived a day late... he missed his flight because he got AM and PM mixed up. Come on... who does that?
Paul claims he was wiping off sweat but that looks like a pit check
We had one full tourist day before the wedding where Randy, Paul and I packed in visits to the golden Buddha, Wat Pho and the Grand Palace. I'd seen a couple of these on previous trips but it was worth a return trip, especially for the reclining Buddha. You'll see from the pictures that it's an enormous statue of the buddha that's maybe 30 feet high and over 100 feet long with intricate inscriptions on the soles of the feet. It was also remarkable to see that the temples and palaces are kept so meticulously shiny. The paint looks fresh and the small pieces of stained glass that make up the outside of most of the buildings look almost new. That evening we sat ringside and saw two knockouts in nine bouts of Muay Thai fights at Ratchadamnoen stadium. Of course we had to pay farang (foreigner) prices for the tickets although smooth Pop got us a 300 baht discount. Over the course of the day Paul impressively sweat through two shirts and in the week I've been here has already done laundry twice.
As many of you know I'm a tremendous fan of weddings. I don't have an accurate count but I think I've been to over 50 weddings, been a member of the wedding party 10 times and have officiated two myself (thank you Universal Life Church). This was definitely the earliest I've had to get up for a ceremony... we had to be at Kae's house by 5 AM because that's when the fortune teller told Pop that they had to start . Since Pop and Kae are ethnically Chinese it was a mixture of Thai and Chinese customs, one of which was the procession bearing gifts into the bride's house. Paul and I got the plate of raw pork shoulder and liver which would've been fine except Pop took a while to negotiate with Kae's family to let us in and that pork was heavy. And it was 5 AM. And it was liver. After we got inside there were more negotiations and more jokes and and more red envelopes as we made our way up the stairs until we got to the top floor of Kae's house where they wouldn't let us pass unless we sang a song. So we decided on the only song that apparently is known both in the U.S. and in Thailand... Jingle Bells. And so there we were at 5 AM in a Bangkok suburb smelling like pork liver and singing Jingle Bells at the top of our lungs with a bunch of Thai people as part of a wedding ritual. You can't make that up.
The happy couple. That's them on the right.
The rest of the ceremony consisted of the two families sitting together and talking then exchanging gifts, money, and eventually rings. Pop's uncle talked quite a bit and there was a lot of laughing and clapping and general happiness all around. There were a few poignant moments however because Pop's dad had unexpectedly passed away only a couple of weeks ago. You would have never been able to tell from the general demeanor of the Thapanangkun family, even for the few days that I stayed at Pop's house, but there were a few moments during the ceremony and especially at the reception later in the evening where things understandably became a bit emotional. I really felt for Pop because it was obvious that he's been feeling a lot of conflicting emotions during the last couple of weeks, and through it all it seemed like his greatest concern was for us (his foreign friends) and whether we were ok. That's just the kind of guy that he is... Pop is probably the most genuinely generous person that I know. I'm really, really happy for him because Kae is a fantastic person with a terrific spirit and they seem good for each other. The reception was later that evening with a live band, a nine-course meal, two emcees, speeches by Pop and Kae and a bouquet toss that was strictly for foreigners. I'm pretty sure Pop and Kae didn't eat or sleep all day but Pop still wanted to take us out for a beer on Soi Cowboy, I think mostly to see if we could tell the ladyboys from the actual women.
The last couple of days Paul and I have been lounging around on Ko Samet, an island about 3 hours east of Bangkok, not really doing much of anything but in a good way. It's rainy season so it's not too crowded which is a stark counterpoint to Bangkok. Our only task for today was to sort out a bus back to the city for tomorrow. Then we walked 50 yards to lunch, then maybe another 20 yards to the beach, then maybe another 50 yards to get a foot massage. Now we're trying to get up the energy to walk to dinner. I don't even know what day it is.
In the immortal words of David St. Hubbins... There's a fine line between stupid and clever. When spending a bunch of time driving alone you tend more toward the former. To wit, I took a bunch of videos during the course of the trip, some of which you've already seen, and I've compiled them into a random, somewhat disjointed 15-minute travelogue. For those of you that prefer movies to books, you're welcome.
Well, this week marked the end of the epic U.S. road trip, or at least epic in my own mind. After driving as quickly as possible though the vast wasteland that is Idaho and eastern Oregon, I spent the night in Yakima, Washington where I saw many wild, native car racks roaming through the countryside. The next morning I took a detour off the interstate to drive through Mount Rainier national park, ostensibly in order to see an actual mountain since that is what you'd expect when you go to a national park with the word "Mount" in it. This is the northwest, though, so I saw some goats, snow, and had about 50 feet of visibility through the fog for most of the hour-long drive through the park. So... Mount Rainier! Spectacular!
And then Seattle. Ah... Seattle. You gave us Jimi Hendrix and Bruce Lee, so thank you for that. You also gave us Eddie Vedder and for that I can never forgive you. I've been to Seattle a bunch of times so this was more of a social visit than anything else, but I will tell you that it's one of the most beautiful cities in the U.S. on a sunny day. Unfortunately, it only has about 6 of those per year. If you get a chance to be there on one of those days you'll see some spectacular green landscapes, and on a normal day you'll see a lot of grey mist. I got a free lunch on Keynote with Jamie and Chris, then spent a couple of days hanging out with Jen and her crew, cruising around a few bars and enjoying some sushi for the first time in a few months.
From there it was a straight shot down I-5 to Oregon and my only stop in that state, Ninkasi Brewing, another place that I had targeted from the get-go for my trip. They've only been around since 2006 but are already distributed all over the place. They're known for some super-hoppy beers, which aren't my favorite, but they have a stout and a double red ale that are fantastic. After Ninkasi I continued southwest until I reached the California coast where I let out a little primal scream and then continued through Redwood national park and the Avenue of the Giants. This is a 30-mile stretch of road that winds through a huge redwood forest in the northwest part of California. If you've never seen a redwood tree... they're really big. Really big. Some of the tree trunks are wider than a car. So that was pretty cool.
And then it was back down through California, across the Golden Gate bridge and into San Francisco. I know that it's only been a few months but I feel like I've been gone a year. It's been a long trip across a lot of territory. I have to admit that it felt really solitary for a lot of the time. I've had no trouble traveling alone before, but this one involved a lot of time alone in a car then at a campsite or some random motel off the interstate. But I did get to set my own schedule and see pretty much whatever I wanted, so no complaints.
I don't have any sweeping observations about the U.S. although there are some things that are totally obvious just by driving around the country. Americans love Jesus, guns, the military, country music, Rush Limbaugh and fireworks. That's stuff you find in EVERY state. Outside California it seems like no one wears motorcycle helmets except foreigners. Mainly, though, there are deep and obvious economic and racial divisions throughout the country. I'm not saying this pessimistically, it's simply something that becomes more obvious the more you see of the country. I don't want this to get too political but it is easy to see why the government has become divided... it's just a reflection of the whole country. Even on a state-by-state basis, it's difficult to see how, for example, any one government could create legislation that would make both Alabama and California happy.
Anyhow, thanks to my trusty Garmin I can give you some of these facts about the trip:
Miles driven - 13,578
Total time driving - 301 hours 35 minutes
Moving average - 50 mph
I tried 34 different microbreweries' beers and I got the oil changed in my car four times. My car was an absolute champ... no problems whatsoever. No traffic or parking tickets, either. I didn't get sick... until I came home. So now I'm chilling out for a couple of weeks until I leave for Thailand, so you won't be hearing from me til then. Here's the last small batch of pics from the U.S.:
Whoa... I have to say, it's going to be hard to top three national parks in one week. I mean, I've seen some cool stuff on this trip, but the natural beauty that's crammed into Montana and especially Wyoming is unbelievable. When I drove into Yellowstone National Park, I wasn't sure what to expect. It's one of those places that you hear so much about that you almost expect to be disappointed, but that was far from the case. When I drove over a hill and finally got my first view of Yellowstone Lake, I laughed. I don't know if this happens to everybody, but there are times when I'll see or experience something so spectacular that it just invokes a strange, giddy laughter. It's some sort of primal euphoria, I suppose. Well, there were plenty of those moments not only in Yellowstone but in the other national parks I visited over the course of the following week. The pictures, and there are quite a few of them, do not do them justice by any stretch. If you don't like lakes, wildlife, and long views of nature, though, you can skip the pictures and go hook yourself back up to Skynet. The only downside of that first night at Yellowstone is that I wasn't exactly prepared for the temperature to dip below freezing while I was camping out near Bridge Bay. There are a few thoughts that go through your mind when it's 30 degrees in your tent you can't sleep at 2 AM, such as "Why can't I feel my face" or "Why didn't I spend the extra 30 bucks for the better sleeping bag" or "What would Bear Grylls do" but after a few minutes of pondering that last question I couldn't see how it would help the situation if I were to drink my own piss.
Nice Tetons
The next day I drove out to Idaho Falls to pick up ChrisP (Crispy) who had driven out from the bay area to spend the week with me in this spectacular part of the country. Our first destination was Victor, Idaho, home of Grand Teton brewing. When I decided to take this road trip across the U.S., one of the first places I put on my must-see list was this brewery. Every beer they produce that I've tried has been great, and the range of brews we sampled at their taproom did not disappoint. Best beer I've had on this trip, hands-down, across the board. We then drove into Jackson Hole, Wyoming, which is a town that people with lots of money use as a jumping-off point for skiing in the winter and visiting parks in the summer. From there the first park on our circuit was Grand Teton, which is named after the mountain range that it encompasses. It's much smaller than Yellowstone so we had plenty of time to get out and hike around a lake or two and up one of the larger hills for some great views of the valley and the mountains.
The next day it was back to Yellowstone for a full day wandering around all possible roads in that park. There are a ton of beautiful meadows, rivers and lakes in that park, and some really interesing sulfuric pools, but the one place that unexpectedly ranked toward the top was the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. It sports some really interesting colors in the rock that are reminiscent of the southwest along with a beautiful blue river and waterfall. What I would say is that you can avoid is pretty much the entire north loop, although we did see a couple of black bear cubs roaming in the grass. Of course, we had to check out Old Faithful geyser, the iconic emblem of the park. It's obviously the most visited part of the park as evidenced by the two lodges, restaurant, and general store within a couple hundred yards of the geyser. They've even set up rows of benches so that the hundreds of people waiting for an eruption have someplace to sit. And believe me, when you get a load of some of the characters sitting around the geyser it's hard to believe that they made it on foot from the parking lot. Anyhow, the eruption itself was cool, but I wouldn't place it anywhere near the top of the list of the attractions of the park. People like predictability, I suppose.
Beware of Angry Crispy
The next day we drove to Missoula, where the plan was to visit a couple of breweries and then check out the Primus concert that was being held outside of Big Sky brewing. We hadn't bought any tickets, but Crispy was sure that we could get them at the door because "Who's going to see Primus in Montana? It's Montana!" Well apparently there are more than 3000 fans of Primus in the Missoula area because the show was sold out, which led to Angry Crispy making an appearance for about 15 minutes. Everything worked out ok though... we bought a six-pack and hung out in the parking lot for the entire concert where we could hear perfectly and see everything, only smaller. In the span of two days we saw a moose, bison, bears, and Wynona's big brown beaver. Also, here's an interesting fact about Missoula... it has a population of 75,000 and 5 breweries in town with another 5 in the surrounding area. Yeah. We liked Missoula.
Glacier National Park was the next destination, which was supposed to be the likeliest place for us to see some bears. The main road going through the park was closed about halfway up the mountain due to the fact that snow was still blocking the road, but again... lakes, waterfalls, and forests provided a fantastic backdrop. We drove around the park and up to one of the more remote areas with some unexpectedly rough dirt roads over to Bowman Lake while I profusely apologized to my car the entire way. It poured rain on and off all day so the driving conditions were tougher than normal. When we finally got to the lake, though, we had one of those sublime periods of complete stillness in nature, where there are no other people around and it's just you and an entire lake. That's until the dad and his two little kids came out from the parking lot to try and catch some fish for the evening. It had been a really long day and it was already 7 PM when we decided to head back toward some sort of civilized society where we could find lodging.
I'm going to take a minute now to tell you how much I love my Garmin GPS. That thing has been a rock-solid partner for me the entire trip and has led me out of some really weird jams. I do talk back to it sometimes, especially when it's telling me to make a u-turn where I can't make a u-turn. I should've never switched the voice to a UK-English female. I thought it'd be sexier, but instead it sounds more stern and matronly. It makes me feel like a disappointment when I miss an exit. Anyhow, the one problem with Garmin is that it knows almost too much. It has a database of all sorts of crazy roads that you would never take unless you had a detailed topographical map. So when you tell it that you want to head toward Whitefish, it tries to find the most direct route, which can involve strange forest roads with names like "NF-1629." So we're driving down one of these dirt roads and it's getting on in the evening and we're pulling out some maps and figuring out if Garmin is full of shit and we turn the corner and there's this huge four-legged monster running down the road and it tears off into the forest and Crispy and I flip out because WE JUST SAW A FUCKING GRIZZLY BEAR!!!! YAAAAAAH! That thing had to be at least 4 feet high at the shoulder on four legs and was hauling ass at about 15 miles an hour. Dude... I was so amped. There was no trace after it leaped into the trees so we continued up the road for another 10 miles or so until we found out... it was snowed in. I'm talking a wall of snow completely blocking the road going up the mountain through the pass. I can't really blame that on Garmin but dammit, now we had to turn around and drive all the way back to the park entrance about 40 miles away. So we're driving back down the dirt road, frustrated, looking at maps, getting hungry, and I turn the corner and THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING BLACK BEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH! It turns around and starts tearing down the road while Crispy and me are fumbling for the camera and then it's gone into the forest. Dammit! Bears! That one was smaller than the first but nevertheless a godless killing machine. And yes, it was exactly that awesome.
We spent the night in Whitefish, another small, friendly mountain town where I'd be happy to return, then headed back to Missoula which I'm sure is a surprise to no one. Hey, there were a couple of breweries that we didn't try the first time. Then came the turd-like part of the week: the drive through Idaho. I'm sure that there are nice parts to Idaho, maybe Sun Valley or someplace in the north, but if anyone ever asks you to drive across the south or west of Idaho, tell them you'll fly. The one notable destination across central Idaho is the Craters of the Moon National Monument, an expanse of volcanic rock and ash encompassing 75 square miles. I'll be honest, after what we saw the previous few days we were underwhelmed, but I think you'll agree after watching the following video that Craters of the Moon has at least one spectacular view:
http://youtu.be/gffKf4MdBvQ
So after an eventful night listening to the hypnotic sounds of meth heads outside the Motel 6 in Twin Falls, Crispy and I had to part ways, and I spent all day driving through more uninspiring territory in Idaho and eastern Oregon. Well, at least I have these pictures to look back on. Enjoy!
For the first six weeks I was doing pretty well. I was trying to stay active, I was busy, I kept the food under control... so I lost 10 pounds. Ok, maybe the nutrition wasn't of the highest levels, maybe a diet of almonds and kimchee noodle bowls isn't the greatest... it's temporary. Then the last two weeks happened. 14 days in a row of staying with friends. Celebratory beers, venison, German pancakes, social beers, pub food, Chicago restaurants, steaks, and, of course, goodbye beers. And now we're back to where we started plus a couple of pounds. My point is this: Friends make you fat. Have you ever seen a fat hermit? The Unabomber... skin and bones. It's a fact. I believe I have just scientifically proven this.
Last time I left you I was on the road to Indianapolis for the sole purpose of visiting Katy and Chris whom I hadn't seen in four years. The whole Indianapolis downtown had a makeover prior to last year's Super Bowl so there's a lot more going on than there was a couple of years ago. Still, I don't know that there are many other reasons to go to Indianapolis other than visiting friends or business. Maybe a Colts game, except now they kind of suck. Nothing against the city, I just don't think it's a big tourist destination, especially with Chicago relatively closeby. But it was great to see those guys and we ate at a diner featured on Guy Fieri's show where the waitress took 45 minutes to take our order. Good food though.
The Four Seasons by Marc Chagall
Chicago is where I headed next. I hit traffic on the outskirts of town and it took me over an hour to get to Jimmy's house. Also, it was 95 degrees. Welcome to Chicago! But the upshot of cities that heat up in the summer are the outdoor terraces at bars and restaurants. Sitting outside enjoying dinner and drinks with friends... this is something people take for granted if they don't live in San Francisco, where you also can sit outside in the summer as long as the restaurant has heat lamps and you're wearing 4 layers, a scarf and a beanie. Anyhow, I love Chicago. It's a big, beautiful, diverse city with some of the greatest architecture in the U.S. Jim took me on a two-hour architecture tour of downtown, not only showing me some of the more significant buildings but going into detail about their histories. The first skyscraper in the world, the Sears tower, the Chicago board of trade, the first solid steel exterior building... Jimmy you should forget the product management and go into tourism development for the city. Take a look at the pictures and you'll see what I'm talking about. It was Jim's last weekend in Chicago before moving back to the bay area (that's the thing to do nowadays) so we traveled all around town, went out with friends, watched the Euros at a local bar, and also Jimmy's car overheated. We were pulled over to the side of the road looking under the hood when Jimmy shakes his head, looks at me and says, "You're not putting this in your blog are you?" I said, "No... no... of course not." But the overall most amazing occurrence of the Chicago weekend was finding out that Jimmy has been dating somebody for more than 90 days. My world has lost its compass.
Moving from Chicago, IL (population 2.7 million) to New Windsor, IL (population 800) takes only three hours, not counting Chicago traffic. Larry was waiting for me wearing a gray tank top with a steak on the grill. I have to admit, I was bummed that it wasn't the red tank top but Larry said he only wears those in Haiti, which I fear may be causing widespread psychological scarring among Haitian youth. Anyway, I'm trying to avoid the obvious statement that Chicago and New Windsor are galaxies apart, not only because New Windsor measures 11 streets by 7 streets and has a rodeo but because there's no way I could get a solo tour of a Chicago firehouse without being arrested for trespassing. Dude... I got to use a thermal imager! Then we sat out on Larry and Jean's patio, drinking Prestige and chatting into the night. It was a fantastic evening in the country. I really have to give my love and thanks not only to Larry and Jean but to all my friends who hosted me during this two-week period... you guys are awesome. Except you made me fat.
And then it was back to solo travelin' baby! First stop... Iowa. The true highlight was Iowa 80, the world's largest truck stop. It has a dentist! And swords! And the best restrooms in the country! Beyont that, the best thing I can say about driving across Iowa is that at some point it ends. Unfortunately, it then turns into South Dakota. There's about 800 miles of driving across these two states that is an endless, mind-numbing, at times coma-inducing stretch of corn. Then grass. Then... ooh! Corn! The wind, up to 80 mph in the summer, subtracts about 7 or 8 miles per gallon off your gas mileage. Tumbleweeds cross your path. You find yourself passing the time by counting the number of billboards for Wall Drug along I-90. Then you lose count because their numbers are beyond the capabilities of the human mind to compute. That is until you reach the southwest part of South Dakota, which is where the only part of the state that I saw that they crammed anything that may be interesting to humans.
Of course I had to stop at Wall Drug, which shows that you don't need subliminal advertising, simply volume. You can't really call it a drug store, it's more like a one square block general store that sells everything stupid that you would expect a humongous general store that hosts up to 20,000 per day in the summer and is in the middle of nowhere to sell, along with a dinosaur exhibit, a giant jackalope, and a movie on the history of Wall Drug. I guess if you promote yourself enough you can create enough of a myth about yourself that people go out of their way to see you and eventually your own history (which you manufactured) becomes an item of interest for people. It's genius.
I had a date though... A date with destiny. A showdown with the great emancipator himself. Only one of us could come out on top. Mount Rushmore was the scene. Whose beard would reign supreme? That's for you to decide (but the correct answer is me). I will say that seeing four huge heads carved out of the side of a mountain is waaaay more impressive in person than it would be on any postcard. I used to think that Teddy Roosevelt didn't belong in the company of the other three (Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln), but now I believe that the creation of the National Parks system was one of the great achievements of any president. If not for him there'd probably be tract homes in Yellowstone and strip malls at Acadia.
From there I continued west through Sturgis, the site of the huge motorcycle rally, and on into Wyoming. The landscape finally improved through southwest South Dakota and into Wyoming as the elevation changed and the flat plains turned into rolling hills. Even the interstate highway in Wyoming is beautiful, and I took a detour to see Devil's Tower national monument, the tall, flat-topped monolith which most people know from the film Close Encounters. Strangely, it's one of those natural wonders that looks much more impressive from a distance. I think its mystique lies in the fact that it's so different from its surroundings which is difficult to tell from up close. Nevertheless... it's pretty awesome. And that's about as far as I've gotten into Wyoming. Tomorrow, all roads lead to Yellowstone.
Things have been relatively quiet for the last week or so, mostly because I've been staying with friends and have therefore not had the solo time to think of anything stupid. I spent over a week in Canada, most of which was hosted in Kingston, Ontario by Cari and Rich. Most of you may not have heard of Kingston, which sounds about right. Kingston has a university, a prison, and a population that generally veers toward the husky side. I bombed into town on the day that Cari gave her two weeks notice at work... Rich's unemployment aura finally got the best of her, though I came to find out that this is the first time in the 6 years I've known Rich that he has a job (working remotely of course). Strange times indeed, though as you can see he can still bust out his signature move at will.
In real life dolphins are way smaller than you would think
We roamed around Kingston for a day or so then headed to Crow Lake where Cari's family runs a campground. When I say campground I mean RV trailers with cabins built around them. A couple of days barbecuing, loitering around campfires making s'mores, having a few beers, writing songs about Jeremy, and fishing. I caught my first fish ever, which was pretty exciting. It was a dolphin. There's no proof of this because I had to let it go for fear it would telepathically assault me. I watch a lot of movies.
We also spent a day in Ottawa, the Canadian capital, roaming around various government buildings. There's not much else to do in Ottawa, which explains the unusually high number of randomly drunk people loitering outside grocery stores. The weather was fairly unpleasant anyway so we had to keep ducking in and out of pubs. Had to.
Rule #1: Do not talk about Pete Club
After an evening at Tammy's where her mom cooked us a fantastic dinner, I said my goodbyes to Kingston and temporarily to Rich and Cari (whom I'll be seeing in Thailand) and headed west to Toronto to meet up with Pete. I'd been to Toronto once before in 2007, but the only things I remembered about it is that I liked it and that I saw Edward Norton, who is a lot taller than I expected. He has to be about 6'2". Anyway, that's also the last time I saw Pete, who is not 6'2", but he did organize an informal brewery tour of Toronto on a Monday night, and for that he is awesome. Maybe not Fight Club awesome, that's tough, but definitely 25th Hour awesome.
Here's one thing you may not know about Canadians: They are really nice. To people. They say hello and they make eye contact and it almost sounds like they mean it. When they ask how you're doing it does not sound sarcastic. It's kind of creepy sometimes. Well, except for the border guards anyway. We had just missed the tour at the first brewery we stopped, Steam Whistle, so the guy behind the bar just gave us the entire low-down on the brewing process and then gave us two free beers and also free passes to a future tour. In case you're interested, Steam Whistle only produces one (1) beer, a Czech-style pilsner, and follows German beer purity laws by only using four ingredients (water, hops, barley, yeast). The next brewery was Amsterdam Brewing, where they were only open to sell bottles (the tasting taps were closed), but Nick (the guy working the retail shop) brought out four beers from the fridge for us to sample and then told us they were on him. See what I mean? Nice! Free beer is nice! I liked Toronto. Not just for the free beer or good company, but because it has some pretty cool, walkable neighborhoods with small storefronts and a variety of things to see and do. There is a huge, and I mean huge, housing boom going on right now judging simply by the incredible numbers of condominiums that have been recently built or are under construction. I just wouldn't want to be there in the winter.
From Toronto I continued west and stopped for a couple of hours at Niagara Falls. The pictures will tell most of the story on that, though I don't know if they'll properly convey the scale. The horseshoe falls on the Canadian side are much more striking than the straight falls on the U.S. side. The mist rising up from the power of the falls reaches all the way out to the parking lot 200 feet away. Unsurprisingly, it's a pretty touristy area, but luckily it wasn't too crowded on a Tuesday morning. I don't think it would ever be possible to have some alone time contemplating the falls anyway, even in the middle of the night, due to the sheer number of of hotel rooms in the city.
I was a little concerned about the border crossing back into the U.S. I usually have a hard enough time coming back into the country at the airport so I could only imagine what they had in store for me at the land border. I handed my passport over at the booth and the guard looks at it, then looks at me, then says, "Looks like all the hair went from your head to your face." Then he laughs. Turns out he's from Modesto so he asked me a couple of questions about the Bay Area then says, "Do you have any Cuban cigars?" I laughed and said, "Naw, I don't smoke." Then he smiled and waved me on.
Detroit Rock City was next on the itinerary where I stayed with my bro Dave and Mai, who were extremely happy to see me, I think mostly because they are desperate for company. They only recently emigrated to Detroit Rock City so Dave could take care of his real estate business which gives him some fairly unique insights on the city. After a couple of hours talking to Dave you learn a lot about how hard the economic downturn hit an already depressed area, about economic and racial divisions, and about how the streets dividing Detroit and some of its adjacent suburbs are patrolled as if by border guards. It's a remarkable thing to see when you cross over from one city to another just by one block and the houses, businesses and storefronts go from well-maintained to run-down. We drove around a few of the neighborhoods looking at the rows of brick bungalows that have remained relatively unmodified since they were built in the 1930s. Since all the houses look the same, the way to judge the relative affluence of a particular neighborhood is by the number of burned out, boarded up vacant houses in the area. In some areas it's so bad that entire blocks are vacant. Dave told me that in certain areas if a tenant leaves and the house is not boarded up within 24 hours it gets completely stripped... appliances, fittings, copper piping, everything gone. That's not to say that Detroit is entirely post-apocalyptic. There are a ton of huge skyscrapers in the downtown area, and quite a few restaurants and bars in the renovated area near the ballpark. The city is surrounded by affluence in suburbs like Ann Arbor and Grosse Pointe, so somebody must be making money somewhere doing something.
Anyhow, the journey continues west next week where I hope to end up at Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone at some point. Watch out Lincoln... I'm coming for you! Here are the pics:
Up until now the weather gods had smiled upon me, but they decided to take their vengeance as I made my way up the coast of New England. It's not so much the rain but the thick, soupy fog that made it impossible at times to see anything 100 feet in front of you. I left Boston heading straight to Cape Cod, the curly-shaped peninsula that sticks out into the Atlantic from the southeasternmost part of Massachusetts, hoping to catch some amazing views of the ocean on the drive up. I could barely see past the beach. I'm pretty sure there was water out there somewhere. Somewhere. I heard a splash when I threw a rock. I wanted some kind of experience where I felt like I was at the end of the world. When I traveled through Portugal back in 2003, I went to Cabo Sao Vicente which is the westernmost point in continental Europe. From there you really felt like you were on the precipice of an endless ocean. From a foggy Cape Cod, not so much. On the plus side, the drive itself was really enjoyable since there are a bunch of small, picturesque villages on the way, ending at the tip of the cape in Provincetown (P-town to the locals). It's obvious from the get-go that P-town is a finely-tuned tourism machine, with a 10-block main street lined with craft shops, bars, and restaurants, and a large portion of that tourism seems to be targeted toward a specific segment of the population. The "Provincetown Bears" are not a football team. Cock and Bull Leather Shop... hey now. I'm sure "Seamen's Bank" is legit, but after a while you just start looking for it.
From Cape Cod I made my way back up the coast into New Hampshire where I spent the night in Portsmouth, which is also a really nice coastal town, and then through into Maine. I stopped in Portland for a lobster roll then proceeded directly to Mount Desert Island where I spent the night camping in Acadia National Park. This was the best national park I've come across since Joshua Tree. There is a fantasic loop road which takes you all around the island ending up at the top of Cadillac Mountain with 360 degree views across the ocean and back inland. I knew this was as far northeast as I was going to go so the plan was to wade into the ocean... until I got my feet in and immediately lost all sensation. It was colder than Linda Mar in December, and that's saying something. Bar Harbor, Maine, about as far as I'm going to be from home, is where I've gotten my only California license plate shout-out thus far.
After traveling across the center of Maine and into Vermont, I can tell you that the northeastern part of the U.S. is the most beautiful part of the country I've seen since leaving the southwest. The terrain is completely different of course, consisting of farms, trees and hills, but it's been the most pleasant driving scenery I've had in a long time. There are loads of campgrounds and inns, and I'm lucky that I caught it on shoulder season between skiing and summer because I'm guessing from the number of places to say that this area blows up during tourist seasons.
On a personal note I was incredibly disappointed to find out that the town of Spurbury, Vermont does not exist. There are about a hundred something-burys, but no Spurbury. If you're a fan of the movie Super Troopers, then this may come as a crushing blow (it was filmed in upstate New York). Nevertheless, I was determined to perform an honorary Vermont maple syrup chug, so I traveled to Morse maple farm in the capital Montpelier, which even though it's not a "bury" is good enough. And there I pounded a pint of maple syrup. Look, I'm not going to lie to you, sometimes you just need to come up with stupid shit to do in order to amuse yourself. Witness the glory:
http://youtu.be/ZPBteQg2D8Q
I thought that was a thing people did in Vermont, sort of like their version of cow-tipping, but if you google "Vermont maple syrup chug" you get surprisingly few results. You may be thinking that was really stupid, and in retrospect I agree with you more than you know. I sampled four different types of maple syrup, ranging from light to dark, before settling on the lightest "Vermont Fancy" as the most easily chuggable type. Maple syrup fun fact: there are 1600 calories in a pint of maple syrup. It wasn't so much the caloric intake that bothered me though; the syrup went down surprisingly easily. The problem started occurring about an hour or so later when this strange burning sensation started occurring in my stomach which lasted about 6 hours. Then I got what I can only describe as "maple sweats" where my whole body started sweating for no particular reason. On top of that I started feeling kind of stoned and woozy. That's probably why, when I went on a tour of the Ben and Jerry's ice cream factory, I kept asking people "Where do you keep the monkeys?" Yeah, that was weird.
Some of you may have also noticed that my travels across the U.S. have turned into a sort of microbrewery tour and you'd not be mistaken. In Vermont I traveled to Alchemist brewery where they only brew one beer, Heady Topper, a thick, unfiltered IPA which scored 100 points from Beer Advocate. They let you take your own tour of the brewery, which basically means just walking in there and checking it out. When I bought a four-pack the woman told me to make sure I keep it chilled. If by chilled you mean five weeks in a rubbermaid container in my car then no problem. I also visited Magic Hat brewery where they brew that kind of gnarly apricot-flavored #9 beer but is also the first time I've found an Imperial Pilsner. And then it was on to Canada.
This is what the border guard looked like. Except more angry.
So I don't know if it's the aggressive beard (that's for you Josh) or what, but the border crossing did not turn out to be a routine affair. First off, I made the (I think understandable) mistake of driving past the initial stop sign at the border crossing. I sort of found myself in no-man's land, nobody was in the booth, I was sort of just waiting there thinking about what the hell I should do next, when a border patrol guy who looked like a younger, angrier, French-Canadian version of Louis C.K. came out and said "What are you doing?"
Me: I'm waiting... not sure what's going on.
YAFCLCK: Didn't you see the stop sign?
Me: Yes, but there was nobody...
YAFCLCK walks back to the stop sign, TAKES IT OUT OF ITS POST AND CARRIES IT OVER TO ME.
YAFCLCK: What does this say?
Me: Uh... stop. (This is when I kind of laughed because it was so ridiculous. He didn't like that.)
YAFCLCK: Ok, you can read. Now drive back to the sign.
So he made me go back to the original spot of the sign and stop my car. Then he got in his booth and waited for about 15 seconds and waved me forward. As I'm sure you can guess by now, he did not like any of the answers that I gave to his questions about why I was crossing into Canada. He then waved me over into the car bay where I waited for another 10 minutes until he and his partner were free to pillage my car, which is what they did for the next half hour. They went in and took everything out, and I mean everything. I had nothing to hide so I wasn't nervous, but I was getting annoyed and actually a bit concerned. I mean, in this situation, I have no power whatsever. YAFCLCK could find any technical excuse not to let me in the country. And he was trying. I started thinking things like "What if it's illegal to bring granola bars into Canada?" He kept asking me the same questions over and over again but in different ways. They opened every bag in my car, leafed through all my books, and went as far as to look through all the pictures I had on my camera. Finally, he has me follow him back inside, hands me my passport and says, "Have a nice trip."
I'll be honest, that soured me a little bit. During the search I was a bit detached from the whole thing but after I had a chance to reflect I got more and more pissed off. I was pretty lathered up when I got into Montreal, but after settling in and walking around for a bit I managed to chill out. I really like this city. It is easily walkable, culturally diverse, historically interesting, and completely engaging. I spent most of my first day walking along the waterfront in Old Montreal just hanging out at the park and people-watching. After a few hours of that I headed back to my hostel to chill out for the night and that's when I started hearing the banging of pots and pans coming from a few hundred yards away. The receptionist at the front told me that those were the protesters that gathered at a park half a block from the hostel and had been doing so every night for the last two months. She also said that last week they had marched up our street and the police had fired tear gas driving some of them into the hostel. That was it... I heard "tear gas" and I knew I had to check that out.
Ok, a little background on the protests, and admittedly I only know superficially what's going on. The way they started is that the government of Quebec decided to hike up student tuitions by a large amount, so the students began protesting. As a result, the government of Quebec decreed a "Special Law" that said any gathering larger than 50 people needed permission and to clear their route through the government. This is when the shit hit the fan. The protests have now grown to symbolize something beyond student tuition, namely resistance to government oppression of free speech. I followed the protesters in a giant loop around Montreal for about two hours and I can say that it was one of the most spectacular displays of civil disobedience I've ever witnessed in person. It wasn't just about the protesters themselves, but I'd say about 95% of the onlookers and bystanders were completely supportive, clapping their hands, joining the chants, and banging on pots and pans with wooden spoons. It was a fantastic display of solidarity, from children to elderly people, and it happens every night! It was electric. And, to be honest, it was better than any walking tour of Montreal. Plus, with the beard I have going I probably got my picture in some newspaper as an anarchist provocateur. And then I wonder why I get stopped at borders. So here is some video goodness from my night as a Montreal protester:
http://youtu.be/rzvZ2A75tVo
Well how do you follow that up? I had another day in Montreal that I just spent roaming around, mostly in the Parc Mont Royal in the center of town. If you climb all the way to the center of the park you get these spectacular summit views of the entire city, which I hope you will enjoy in the pictures. I then wandered down to the east side of the park where I found a Brazilian drum circle and some kind of crazy Sunday park rave with a DJ. It was a lot of fun, just sitting in some park listening to crazy music and watching people walk by. Montreal is vibrant... there is a little bit of everything for everybody, from highbrow to hippie. The only other destination I had left was the Dieu du Ciel pub, which had been recommended to me by a guy I met at a microbrewery in Bar Harbor, Maine, who told me that the best beer he had in his life is at Dieu du Ciel. That is no recommendation to take lightly. I sampled quite a few of their beers, and while I don't know if I can say they make the best beer in the world, I won't deny it either. They had a peppercorn ale and an ESB that were out of this world. They had a simple menu and served all their food on blocks of wood. It was exactly the type of place I'd run if I opened a brewpub; I had a memorable evening there. I've had my ups and downs on this trip so far, mostly because the nature of driving around on your own tends to be a solitary experience, so it was refreshing to come to Montreal and be reminded that you can find other travelers to chat with in hostels and bars and there are all sorts of fun things going on if you wind up in the right place. And when in doubt I ask myself WWJD... What Would Jeremy Do? The answer is either a) start up a conversation with the closest person, b) do something completely random in the next 15 seconds, or c) head to the closest bar. That usually solves the problem, or results in conditions like "maple sweats." By the way, WWJD is valid for both DuPont and Gilmore. There must be something about being a Jeremy from Denver.
So now it's on to Kingston to hang out with Rich and Cari... which means a week of hanging out and drinking lagers with two of my favorite people. Rich made sure to instruct me on how to find Prestige in Montreal before I left. Things are good. I want to wish everyone the best. Be good to each other. Here are the pics:
