Back in September of 2005 I came to Thailand to volunteer for a couple of weeks after responding to an ad I found in the midst of a search for direction on Craigslist. As most of you know on Craigslist you are much more likely to find an S&M three-way than the meaning of life, but the two weeks volunteering ended up turning into six months... septic holes were dug, houses were built, beer was drunk, lasting friendships were made, and it turned out to be one of the seminal experiences of my life.
The houses by the pier on Koh Kho Khao
I'm not going to go into detail about that (there are quite a few posts on this site from that time period if you're interested) other than to say that last weekend Rich and I made a return to Khao Lak: Rich for the first time since he left in February 2006. I had already returned once back in September of 2009 which probably explains why I didn't have as emotional a response now as I did then. The Khao Lak area had always catered to tourists but when we first arrived in 2005 it was still in the midst of rebuilding and recovery from the tsunami. I saw many changes in the six months that I was there as businesses re-opened but I definitely wasn't prepared to see anything like a strip mall or a McDonald's when I returned in 2009. Of course I knew it had to change if the local tourist economy was going to pick up where it left off before the disaster, but in your mind you still have the idea of the place as it was, frozen in time or preserved under glass. I was not surprised when we arrived last week to see a Khao Lak that is only superficially recognizable from the one in 2005. There have been so many new stores and businesses opened up on top of each other that you have to search out the names that were once familiar to you... they are no longer obviously sticking out on the main street but crowded around by overlapping signage and building. The Fisherman bar occupies about 1/3 of the space it used to and you'd be likely to miss it from the street unless you specifically were seeking it out. On the other hand, some of the more successful businesses like Jai's or Khao Lak Seafood have built second and even third stories on top of their buildings or further additions going back up the hill. And of course there are those places that no longer exist, unfortunately, like Nom's or Father & Son. Sorry Max, I guess we'll never know if they still serve the frostiest beer in town. Oh, and the Tsunami Volunteer Center building is now a guesthouse.
On the ferry to Koh Kho Khao
We drove north to Koh Kho Khao and rode the ferry across to see how our houses are holding up and I'm happy to say that all the houses look lived-in and cared for. Many of the houses have even been expanded on the ground floor either to create additional living space or, in a couple of cases, shops and restaurants operating out of the house. At first glance there seemed to be fewer houses on the beach than I remembered but it was probably just my memory playing tricks on me. The pier on the island has definitely been developed but being low season it's hard to tell if they get any significant amount of tourism. From there we drove back south to Bang Sak to take a look at some of the houses we worked on in that town and then to see the playground that had been inaugurated in late 2005. Where Khao Lak has moved forward it seems like Bang Sak has receded. Rich and I both swore that you used to be able to see the beach from the main road but this is now an impossibility... the vegetation has grown so much that any view has been obstructed. That's why we had such a hard time finding the playground, and when we did, well, I think you'll have to look at the pictures. Basically it looks like the playground hasn't been used since the night we inaugurated it 7 years ago. The whole thing has been overrun by plants and grass. There used to be a few nice restaurants on the beach but now they look all but abandoned. Here are some comparison pictures of how things looked in 2005 and how they look today:
The main road in Khao Lak:
2005
Today... doesn't capture all the stores
The internal row of houses on Koh Kho Khao:
Then
Now
Bang Sak Playground:
Inauguration in 2005
Today
We stopped in Khao Lak on the way back for a beer at Fisherman Bar because, well because we had to. Gai the bartender recognized Rich from the volunteer days and we talked for a bit as well as we could about how business was going. He said that a lot more tourists were coming to town, which is good, but a lot more bars had opened up, which is bad, so basically it's a wash for him. He had to start serving food in order to attract more customers and, from what it looked like to us, take on a farang partner. On the plus side, Gai seemed calm and friendly which is a nice change from those of us who remember those episodes from back in the day where he'd suddenly go nuts and kick everyone out of the bar.
Rich and I have talked about it a bit since. I think he was glad to go but a bit surprised at the extent of the development, as well as disappointed at the state of the jungle in Bang Sak. We're both proud of the work that we did and really happy to see that the houses are still solid and lived in. For me, as I mentioned I think I'd had my emotional reaction when I was there a few years ago. The visit made me reflective more than anything else. It's been 7 years! How has my life changed since then? Am I a better person? Do I have a clearer sense of direction? Why am I asking you?
Getting friendly with Pon
Everything else has been holding steady, except the weather. Looks like I lucked out my first few sunny weeks in Phuket because the last 10 days have been almost nonstop rain. Rich and Cari went to Koh Phi Phi for a few days which they said was nice but full of drunk English people. We've made friends with a lot of the people who work at the resort since that's typically what happens when you're rained in, and by friends I mean they keep inviting us over to hang out with them and drink shots and try to have a coherent conversation. Lao Kao is the brand of choice, which is a clear, cheap rice alcohol that tastes about as you imagine it would. The main instigator is Pon, the 40-year-old grandmother who runs the kitchen who also has a half-French 4 year-old daughter from a deadbeat dad. She's not shy about sharing information. Every night like clockwork at 8 pm she's sitting around a table (along with Om the receptionist and Joy the largely toothless ladyboy) downing booze. All the men, on the other hand, are inside the little minimart drinking shots of whiskey and we haven't really figured out why they all hang out separately. Then there's my neighbor Paco, the unemployed Spanish tattoo artist whose girlfriend back home sells his stuff on eBay in order for him to have spending money and who has befriended the rat living in his room. The training is going pretty well... I've had a couple of trainers tell me that I should fight, like a real fight for money. I told them that I like beer and I don't like to run. Maybe if I had another month here... I'd probably end up hurting myself.
Last weekend I talked Rich and Cari into coming to see a movie with me in First Class, which is the fancy part of the movie theater in Phuket Town. It costs $20 but when you walk in through the doors there's a lounge for first-class ticketholders only where they lay out a buffet spread of finger foods and bring out drinks for the guests. Since we were the only three people in the first class lounge that day, Rich and I ate 4 mini-burgers each, along with crab salad, pasta and a few pieces of cake. Then when the movie starts they come out and bring you to your assigned seat, which happens to be a recliner with a blanket, and they then bring you a bowl of popcorn and a drink of your choice. All this pampering may seem incongruous with the film choice of "Expendables 2" but trust me... it works. The next day we went to Mui's house and cooked him a Mexican dinner (fish tacos, salsa, guacamole, chips and ceviche), which was surprisingly easy to organize except for the tortillas, which as you may imagine are not easy to find in Thailand. My experiment with Thai corn flour went somewhat poorly and is dissolving somewhere in Mui's backyard. Oh, and in case you were wondering what the weather's been like over the last couple of weeks, take a look:
This is my last week in Phuket and I find myself becoming surprisingly wistful over the thought of leaving. I didn't start off thinking I'd become attached but I've had a great experience here. From the excellent training, to the bungalow on the beach, to the cryptic wisdom of Mui, and to good times with Rich and Cari, it's turned out to be a pretty special experience. I'm going to miss it when I leave, though the signal that it's time to go may have been the other night when I got a knock at my door at 11 o'clock and it was Pon the cook. It was a sort of drunk dial except in person. Then she said a few things really fast and I only understood "drink", "ladyboy" and "sleeping" so I said "Yes, sleeping" and then she left. So yeah, it's probably time to move on.
Here are the pictures. Picasa broke them up into two albums for some reason...
I know it's been a few weeks since my last post but I figured I should write something to let people know that I'm not dead. Other than that I don't have a whole lot of interesting stories or amusing anecdotes or picturesque landscapes to share with you because I've been living in Phuket going to the beach and training and that's about it. I feel as though I may have come off as a little too critical in my last write-up so let me state for the record that I love Thailand. At the end of this trip I will have spent approximately 10 months of my life here and that is not by accident or coincidence. I've had some of the best experiences of my life and met some of my closest friends here. That doesn't mean I have to be crazy about the sex tourism here but that's part of the experience since as Pop said... everything is ok. I was talking to Mui the other day and he was telling how open the culture is about sexuality, that it's fine if you're gay or transgender or a ladyboy, in fact you'll see ladyboys working behind the counter at a Dairy Queen in Bangkok or a KFC here in Phuket. Gay teachers, doctors, whatever... not a problem. He told me there's even a "pink channel" on tv dedicated to gay programming. For those of you that know Mui this was thankfully not one of those moments where he was speaking in riddles; what he was saying is pretty straightforward. And I don't want to sound cynical about the possibility of romance, people do find love here. There are many Thai-farang families around who seem to be perfectly happy. I even know a few happy couples myself. If you respect and embrace the culture and you find somebody that's right for you, Thailand can be a pretty groovy place to settle down.
Mui and I got to talking a little bit about how Thailand is so accommodating to farang and he summed it up pretty succinctly: "Life here for farang is easy." Whether you're super-rich or on a tight budget you'll find something for you. Then I admitted to him that sometimes when I reflect on the fact that the only reason I can stay here for a month at a bungalow on the beach is that it costs $10 a night it seems slightly unfair, like I'm taking advantage of economic inequality, and I wondered if Thai people were ever resentful of that. I know Mui can't speak for every Thai person but he said he doesn't think so. It's a two-way transaction since tourism fuels such a large part of the country's economy. I got into the same conversation with Yok, the guy who runs a restaurant a couple of miles away from my bungalow. He lived in London for 10 years before moving back to Phuket to be with his family. He said Europe is too expensive so of course people like coming to Thailand, and with the European economy in the tank they've seen way more Russian and Chinese tourists coming in the last 4 or 5 years. Yeah, no shit. Most of the signs for businesses are in Thai, English, and Cyrillic letters and when you sit down at a restaurant you're as likely to hear Russian as English at the next table over. That's definitely a big change from the last time I was here.
Mui's right though, life is easy. I've settled into a pretty sweet groove. I train, I go to the beach, I read, and every once in a while go out with some of the crew from the gym. I've given myself a goal to try every Thai restaurant and street food stand in a 3-mile radius... so far I think I've hit about 15 different places and have maintained the diarrhea average below 10%. And of course it's the little things that get me hooked on Thailand... many people are aware of my affinity (perhaps obsession) for papaya salad, larb, Birdy, coconut yogurt and Herbal Salt toothpaste. Not all together. I also just enjoy saying larb. Larb. The one main drawback of semi-living in Thailand is, of course, Thai pop music... which rivals only Italian pop music in terms of horrific mind-numbing banality. You also get treated to cover versions of 80s soft-rock classics such as this timeless number...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9e157Ner90
Anyhow, the muay thai training is fantastic. The classes are two hours each, twice a day at 7 AM and 5 PM. After warmups there are five rounds of bag work then 5 rounds either sparring or working 1-on-1 with a trainer. Then there are three rounds of either grappling, technique work, kick drills, or my favorite: Learning the Wai Khru which is the ceremonial dance that each Muay Thai fighter performs in the ring before his fight. Sometimes the sparring sessions are done with the trainers, you know, guys who have had like 300 pro fights. They'll let you get a couple of jabs in and then throw some crazy flying knee at you then laugh. I'm learning a ton but it's completely kicking my ass. I'm not sure when exactly it happened but I'm now at the point when I start to wonder if age is a factor. When you're 25 and you're sore you're just sore. When you're 39 you ask yourself if you're sore because you got your ass kicked or because you're old. Stupid aging. Some of these guys I'm sparring against are 19. I'm leaning against the ropes between rounds in a pool of my own sweat and these jerks are bouncing around like kangaroos on meth. So... you know... fuck them. Maybe sometimes they accidentally get a knee in the ribs. Accidentally.
Anyway, I didn't use to think about age much but for some reason it's come up quite a few times since I quit my job a few months ago. Maybe it's the traveling around and meeting new people so it comes up more often, or maybe it's some overarching philosophical turning point in life, or maybe I just have too much free time. It's most likely something inbetween. I've been trying to figure out exactly when it is that you turn the corner physically into "old" and I think it's when you start making sounds when you stand up or sit down. Something like a like a grunt or "Ooof" or "Mrgh" some kind of sound that signals it's a strain to get up out of a chair. You know what I'm talking about.
Anyhow, Rich and Cari showed up a few days ago so I'm no longer abstaining from beer. I still haven't had coffee in a few weeks which is not making the 7 AM classes any easier. Other than that... life is good. No pictures to share this time but I'll send an update after we take a trip to Khao Lak.
Traveling to a city or country in a warm-weather climate where the average temperature exceeds 85 degrees will instantly fry the brain of any man from San Francisco. It has nothing to do with the temperature per se, but with the results of that temperature: sun dresses and mini-skirts. You see, as males from San Francisco, we are not used to seeing these items of clothing except in magazines and on television. They are spoken of in reverential terms, when your friends return from a vacation in Cabo San Lucas or a summertime business trip to New York. Then you travel to a tropical country and there are skirts all around you and your mental defenses are overwhelmed. You're only used to seeing sundresses once or twice a year and now you're seeing them every day and even at night! It turns you into some sort of leering caricature for the first week or so, or at least it did Paul and me. And believe me, it's not the ladies of San Francisco's fault... it's freakin freezing in the summer! That probably helps explain why they're so chippy sometimes: lack of wardrobe options. The whole summer catalog is out of the question outside of maybe two weeks in September. I feel for you, ladies. I feel for me. It's a tough situation for all of us.
On a positive note, you'll be happy to know there have been no lingering side effects from the Incident On Ko Samet That Shall Never Be Discussed and that everything has healed up quite nicely. Paul and I returned to Bangkok for one last night out for the crew that was returning home, and Pop took us out for a night on the town culminating with a visit to The Big Apple. Before I spend too much time describing what goes on at The Big Apple, I realize that it's probably going to sound worse than it is. I'm going to give it a shot anyway because that's what I do and if you're going through the effort of actually reading what I write I figure you deserve it. In an effort to protect the innocent, I shall change their names to Bop, Dandy and Maul. Ok, back to The Big Apple. First off, we were the only farang (foreigners) in the place. You walk in and there are rows and rows of tables and stools with two catwalks and a pretty solid live band playing in the front of the room. I don't know how to describe it other than to say it's an "arm candy" bar. You call a guy over and agree to buy X bottles of whiskey, depending on the size of your group. Then the guy goes away and comes back a few minutes later with a lineup of anywhere from 4-8 very attractive Thai women. And yes, the first thing I thought of when they brought over this lineup is that scene from Enter The Dragon where they all get to pick a woman (and Jefferson picks four... I loved that scene). And yes, having someone bring you a lineup of women is surreal and a bit weird, bordering on uncomfortable. Anyway, at that point you pick one that you like (or you don't) and she hangs out with you the rest of the night, which means dancing with you, pouring you a lot of drinks, making small talk, etc, etc. And that's it. No sex, no kissing, no stripping, none of that stuff... just hanging out, dancing, maybe sidling up to each other, but that's it. Pop... I mean Bop... called it "girlfriend mode." They hang out with you as long as you want, usually until you leave, unless you picked a woman with a special outfit who's called a "coyote." The coyotes have to get up on the catwalk and dance about once every half hour or so. As I stated before, I will endeavor to protect the innocent so I will not mention who picked a girl and who flew solo, but it was all around a unique experience and we all slept in the next morning (except Paul who absolutely had to get up at 8 AM so he could go to the Chatuchak market to buy a bedspread or some shit).
Now I feel I have to have the obligatory conversation about sex tourism. I've read a few books and several stories about the forced sex slavery that occurs in south-east Asia where Burmese women are tricked into coming to Thailand with the promise of work and then are forced into prostitution in brothels to "work off the debt" that was incurred by transporting them across the border. I think we can all agree that is abhorrent. I also know a few guys who come to Thailand for a week and all they do every day is get massages with happy endings. I'm not on board with that either. Plus you have to wonder how many of these guys have families back home and are taking a sex vacation from their wives. And then there's the old white guys with the younger Thai women. To be honest, I've sort of come to terms with that. Maybe it's because I have some sort of sympathy for these desperate old guys, or maybe it's because I have no real ethical problem with prostitution as long as both sides are choosing it of their own free will, or maybe it's because it seems like a more fair transaction to me... the guy pays for companionship and sex, the woman gets taken out to vacation spots, restaurants, and hotels, probably gets some cash... I don't know the details but she gets something out of it and as far as I can tell she's free to go. I do know that it's not limited to old guys... there are a lot of younger guys with Thai girlfriends. It's also not limited to men. I've seen quite a few ladies with Thai guys, though it's a very small percentage. The thing is that in most of the cases when you see these couples sitting down to dinner or drinks there is absolutely no conversation happening. It looks boring as hell. I guess what I'm saying is that it's still weird but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to for some reason.
And then I came to Phuket. Holy shit. Everywhere you look there are girly bars filled with leathery, shirtless old men. Occasionally, if the bar is equipped with a pole, you'll see one of the ladies going through vague dancing motions while staring vacuously into space. You can't walk by one of these establishments without some woman yelling, "Hello handsome man" or "Hello sexy man" or even just shrieking "Yaaaah" to get your attention. I mean, it's not that I'm not handsome or sexy (I can be, given the correct lighting and makeup) but I'm pretty sure I'm not the first guy they've yelled at. I found a bungalow place near the Rawai Muay Thai training camp... I'm talking maybe 100 meters away... which required me to pass by 4 (four!) girly bars on the way to the gym. It's some sort of girly bar gauntlet which may or may not be part of the training. It's getting to the point where I'm wondering if you automatically get a Thai girl whenever you rent a motorbike.
Speaking of the training, let me just say that considering the amount of Tiger Balm I have been applying daily I would not be surprised if you can smell it across continents. Everything hurts. I haven't done shit in four months other than sit behind the wheel of a car and sample various microbrews (I am not looking good in those Muay Thai shorts), then I decide I'm going to train for two hours a day in 90 degree heat so that's what I get. There are quite a few people training (from beginners to pro fighters) and there are many camps around the island. There's a French former pro fighter at Rawai who brought three or four kids under 12 years old each of whom had a fight lined up (all of them won). Honestly, though, the hardest part won't be the training but how long I can last in Phuket. It's so damn touristy... even more than I remember. Almost every square inch of available space along the beaches or on the main roads has been taken up by some sort of enterprise: bar, restaurant, massage, minimart, laundry, motorbike rental, or some combination of all of those things. It's low season now so I can't even imagine what it's going to be like come November. I don't know how much I can take of these shirtless tattooed morons riding around on their motorbikes. And yes, now that I'm writing this the irony does not escape me that I look just like these assholes. Hm. I may need to review some things.
I can't complain too much though. I moved to a bungalow that's right on a quiet beach (Naiharn Beach) that is mercifully free of girly bars. It's a little bit out of the way but I rented a motorbike so I can get around (yes... my transformation is complete... although I wear a shirt and a helmet). I can hang out on my little stoop and read or surf the internet while listening to the ocean. I know Lee and Rich and Cari are going to come visit, and honestly if I step up the training I think all I'll be doing at that point is eating and sleeping and having an occasional swim. So that's not so bad.
On top of that I have Mui here as my go-to guy if I need anything. The first couple of nights I was in Phuket I stayed at his place and got to experience the thrill of going to Super Cheap... the Thai version of Costco except they're actually deep-frying food inside the warehouse. It smells fantastic. Mui also had me try this incredibly spicy Thai anchovy paste that you eat with rice, or vegetables, or toast which is powerfully delicious but in large quantities can give you stomach cramps. Trust me on that. And Thai anchovies aren't for everybody. Mui showed me how to make the paste (we had to cook outside) and when he took the anchovies out of the jar it smelled like that time Sam Woods threw a dead fish in the back of my Jeep Cherokee back in college and I didn't discover it for three days. Then when you eat the paste it really coats your mouth... like you may have to brush your teeth five or six times to thoroughly get rid of the taste. Mui said that a lot of Thai people don't even like the paste, so I got that going for me. Which is nice. We also took a day trip out to Ao Phang Nga national park by long-tail boat which is essentially a large bay with a multitude of limestone islands. One of the islands they actually call James Bond Island because it was Scaramanga's hideout in The Man With The Golden Gun. There are loads of fishermen along with loads of tourists roaming the islands up to Ko Panyee which is an inhabited island where all the buildings are up on stilts.
And this is where the question becomes how much tourism is too much? As Mui and I were roaming around the island it seemed like every footpath was completely lined by merchants and vendors selling trinkets, t-shirts, posters... all that stuff. If you're an actual inhabitant of this island, say, a fisherman, there's no way for you to get away from the tourists. We even saw some guy go right up to a fisherman who was washing his face to take pictures. Thai people are generally nice so they can't say no, but this kind of stuff is why generally the more touristy a place is the less nice the people are. The thing is, though, that it's a two-way street. Tourism generates so much revenue in Thailand that people see it as a guaranteed way to make money. On top of that there's hardly any sort of regulation so that's why you see the massive explosion in establishments on Phuket and just about everyplace else. That's also why Mui can't do anything about the guy who opened up a garbage dump right next to his house, but that's another story. I think I said this after I was here in 2006 and again in 2009, but if you want to find any part of this beautiful country that is a little more low-key or unspoiled I think you can find it if you search hard enough, but if you wait another 5-10 years you're going to be out of luck.
I don't have a ton of pictures from this last week, but here they are...
It's been three years since I was last in Thailand and judging by the laughter when I attempt to order dinner my pronunciation of the Thai language has not improved appreciably during that time. Luckily I've been hanging out with Pop so I haven't had to do much other than say hello and goodbye and I'm hungry. Speaking of Pop, those of you who know him are probably familiar with the fact that his English can sometimes be... let's say a bit challenging to understand. I do pretty well but I've known Pop for 13 years. Julian said once that Pop and I are like Chewbacca and Han Solo because I'm the only one who understands what he's saying. Anyhow, when you see Pop in Thailand it's a whole other story. The guy is constantly talking, bargaining, making people laugh, on the phone, and is as smooth as can be. I don't understand what he's saying but you can tell by the body language and by other people's reactions that the guy has a way with words. I asked him if it's frustrating for him when he's in the U.S. that he obviously can't communicate the same way that he can in Thai. Pop just shrugged his shoulders and said that as long as he has friends who are patient with him when he's trying to get something across it's no big deal (mai pen rai). I, on the other hand, can speak fluent Italian but I fly into an internal rage when I'm in Italy and somebody makes a joke I don't get or utters some colloquialism I can't understand. That's the difference between Thais and Italians I guess. Well, that and body hair.
Thailand is very familiar to me since I've spent a good chunk of time here but it still takes a few days of adaptation. I think I've described Bangkok as organized chaos before and that hasn't changed. Everyone seems to be conducting their everyday business out on the street and between the market stalls, the crowds on the sidewalk and the ambulatory vendors there's barely any room to walk. I spent the first couple of days following Pop around as he was running errands in preparation for his wedding. It gave me the chance to pepper him with questions about Thai culture, the economy, ladyboys, sex tourism... basically anything that came to mind about Thailand. Pop summed up the Thai philosophy very succinctly: "Thai people are ok with anything." There's more to it than that but that is the basic gist. By the time Ramanan and the others arrived a few days later I was mostly over the jetlag and one step ahead of the rest of the group. Paul arrived a day late... he missed his flight because he got AM and PM mixed up. Come on... who does that?
Paul claims he was wiping off sweat but that looks like a pit check
We had one full tourist day before the wedding where Randy, Paul and I packed in visits to the golden Buddha, Wat Pho and the Grand Palace. I'd seen a couple of these on previous trips but it was worth a return trip, especially for the reclining Buddha. You'll see from the pictures that it's an enormous statue of the buddha that's maybe 30 feet high and over 100 feet long with intricate inscriptions on the soles of the feet. It was also remarkable to see that the temples and palaces are kept so meticulously shiny. The paint looks fresh and the small pieces of stained glass that make up the outside of most of the buildings look almost new. That evening we sat ringside and saw two knockouts in nine bouts of Muay Thai fights at Ratchadamnoen stadium. Of course we had to pay farang (foreigner) prices for the tickets although smooth Pop got us a 300 baht discount. Over the course of the day Paul impressively sweat through two shirts and in the week I've been here has already done laundry twice.
As many of you know I'm a tremendous fan of weddings. I don't have an accurate count but I think I've been to over 50 weddings, been a member of the wedding party 10 times and have officiated two myself (thank you Universal Life Church). This was definitely the earliest I've had to get up for a ceremony... we had to be at Kae's house by 5 AM because that's when the fortune teller told Pop that they had to start . Since Pop and Kae are ethnically Chinese it was a mixture of Thai and Chinese customs, one of which was the procession bearing gifts into the bride's house. Paul and I got the plate of raw pork shoulder and liver which would've been fine except Pop took a while to negotiate with Kae's family to let us in and that pork was heavy. And it was 5 AM. And it was liver. After we got inside there were more negotiations and more jokes and and more red envelopes as we made our way up the stairs until we got to the top floor of Kae's house where they wouldn't let us pass unless we sang a song. So we decided on the only song that apparently is known both in the U.S. and in Thailand... Jingle Bells. And so there we were at 5 AM in a Bangkok suburb smelling like pork liver and singing Jingle Bells at the top of our lungs with a bunch of Thai people as part of a wedding ritual. You can't make that up.
The happy couple. That's them on the right.
The rest of the ceremony consisted of the two families sitting together and talking then exchanging gifts, money, and eventually rings. Pop's uncle talked quite a bit and there was a lot of laughing and clapping and general happiness all around. There were a few poignant moments however because Pop's dad had unexpectedly passed away only a couple of weeks ago. You would have never been able to tell from the general demeanor of the Thapanangkun family, even for the few days that I stayed at Pop's house, but there were a few moments during the ceremony and especially at the reception later in the evening where things understandably became a bit emotional. I really felt for Pop because it was obvious that he's been feeling a lot of conflicting emotions during the last couple of weeks, and through it all it seemed like his greatest concern was for us (his foreign friends) and whether we were ok. That's just the kind of guy that he is... Pop is probably the most genuinely generous person that I know. I'm really, really happy for him because Kae is a fantastic person with a terrific spirit and they seem good for each other. The reception was later that evening with a live band, a nine-course meal, two emcees, speeches by Pop and Kae and a bouquet toss that was strictly for foreigners. I'm pretty sure Pop and Kae didn't eat or sleep all day but Pop still wanted to take us out for a beer on Soi Cowboy, I think mostly to see if we could tell the ladyboys from the actual women.
The last couple of days Paul and I have been lounging around on Ko Samet, an island about 3 hours east of Bangkok, not really doing much of anything but in a good way. It's rainy season so it's not too crowded which is a stark counterpoint to Bangkok. Our only task for today was to sort out a bus back to the city for tomorrow. Then we walked 50 yards to lunch, then maybe another 20 yards to the beach, then maybe another 50 yards to get a foot massage. Now we're trying to get up the energy to walk to dinner. I don't even know what day it is.
In the immortal words of David St. Hubbins... There's a fine line between stupid and clever. When spending a bunch of time driving alone you tend more toward the former. To wit, I took a bunch of videos during the course of the trip, some of which you've already seen, and I've compiled them into a random, somewhat disjointed 15-minute travelogue. For those of you that prefer movies to books, you're welcome.
Well, this week marked the end of the epic U.S. road trip, or at least epic in my own mind. After driving as quickly as possible though the vast wasteland that is Idaho and eastern Oregon, I spent the night in Yakima, Washington where I saw many wild, native car racks roaming through the countryside. The next morning I took a detour off the interstate to drive through Mount Rainier national park, ostensibly in order to see an actual mountain since that is what you'd expect when you go to a national park with the word "Mount" in it. This is the northwest, though, so I saw some goats, snow, and had about 50 feet of visibility through the fog for most of the hour-long drive through the park. So... Mount Rainier! Spectacular!
And then Seattle. Ah... Seattle. You gave us Jimi Hendrix and Bruce Lee, so thank you for that. You also gave us Eddie Vedder and for that I can never forgive you. I've been to Seattle a bunch of times so this was more of a social visit than anything else, but I will tell you that it's one of the most beautiful cities in the U.S. on a sunny day. Unfortunately, it only has about 6 of those per year. If you get a chance to be there on one of those days you'll see some spectacular green landscapes, and on a normal day you'll see a lot of grey mist. I got a free lunch on Keynote with Jamie and Chris, then spent a couple of days hanging out with Jen and her crew, cruising around a few bars and enjoying some sushi for the first time in a few months.
From there it was a straight shot down I-5 to Oregon and my only stop in that state, Ninkasi Brewing, another place that I had targeted from the get-go for my trip. They've only been around since 2006 but are already distributed all over the place. They're known for some super-hoppy beers, which aren't my favorite, but they have a stout and a double red ale that are fantastic. After Ninkasi I continued southwest until I reached the California coast where I let out a little primal scream and then continued through Redwood national park and the Avenue of the Giants. This is a 30-mile stretch of road that winds through a huge redwood forest in the northwest part of California. If you've never seen a redwood tree... they're really big. Really big. Some of the tree trunks are wider than a car. So that was pretty cool.
And then it was back down through California, across the Golden Gate bridge and into San Francisco. I know that it's only been a few months but I feel like I've been gone a year. It's been a long trip across a lot of territory. I have to admit that it felt really solitary for a lot of the time. I've had no trouble traveling alone before, but this one involved a lot of time alone in a car then at a campsite or some random motel off the interstate. But I did get to set my own schedule and see pretty much whatever I wanted, so no complaints.
I don't have any sweeping observations about the U.S. although there are some things that are totally obvious just by driving around the country. Americans love Jesus, guns, the military, country music, Rush Limbaugh and fireworks. That's stuff you find in EVERY state. Outside California it seems like no one wears motorcycle helmets except foreigners. Mainly, though, there are deep and obvious economic and racial divisions throughout the country. I'm not saying this pessimistically, it's simply something that becomes more obvious the more you see of the country. I don't want this to get too political but it is easy to see why the government has become divided... it's just a reflection of the whole country. Even on a state-by-state basis, it's difficult to see how, for example, any one government could create legislation that would make both Alabama and California happy.
Anyhow, thanks to my trusty Garmin I can give you some of these facts about the trip:
Miles driven - 13,578
Total time driving - 301 hours 35 minutes
Moving average - 50 mph
I tried 34 different microbreweries' beers and I got the oil changed in my car four times. My car was an absolute champ... no problems whatsoever. No traffic or parking tickets, either. I didn't get sick... until I came home. So now I'm chilling out for a couple of weeks until I leave for Thailand, so you won't be hearing from me til then. Here's the last small batch of pics from the U.S.:
Whoa... I have to say, it's going to be hard to top three national parks in one week. I mean, I've seen some cool stuff on this trip, but the natural beauty that's crammed into Montana and especially Wyoming is unbelievable. When I drove into Yellowstone National Park, I wasn't sure what to expect. It's one of those places that you hear so much about that you almost expect to be disappointed, but that was far from the case. When I drove over a hill and finally got my first view of Yellowstone Lake, I laughed. I don't know if this happens to everybody, but there are times when I'll see or experience something so spectacular that it just invokes a strange, giddy laughter. It's some sort of primal euphoria, I suppose. Well, there were plenty of those moments not only in Yellowstone but in the other national parks I visited over the course of the following week. The pictures, and there are quite a few of them, do not do them justice by any stretch. If you don't like lakes, wildlife, and long views of nature, though, you can skip the pictures and go hook yourself back up to Skynet. The only downside of that first night at Yellowstone is that I wasn't exactly prepared for the temperature to dip below freezing while I was camping out near Bridge Bay. There are a few thoughts that go through your mind when it's 30 degrees in your tent you can't sleep at 2 AM, such as "Why can't I feel my face" or "Why didn't I spend the extra 30 bucks for the better sleeping bag" or "What would Bear Grylls do" but after a few minutes of pondering that last question I couldn't see how it would help the situation if I were to drink my own piss.
Nice Tetons
The next day I drove out to Idaho Falls to pick up ChrisP (Crispy) who had driven out from the bay area to spend the week with me in this spectacular part of the country. Our first destination was Victor, Idaho, home of Grand Teton brewing. When I decided to take this road trip across the U.S., one of the first places I put on my must-see list was this brewery. Every beer they produce that I've tried has been great, and the range of brews we sampled at their taproom did not disappoint. Best beer I've had on this trip, hands-down, across the board. We then drove into Jackson Hole, Wyoming, which is a town that people with lots of money use as a jumping-off point for skiing in the winter and visiting parks in the summer. From there the first park on our circuit was Grand Teton, which is named after the mountain range that it encompasses. It's much smaller than Yellowstone so we had plenty of time to get out and hike around a lake or two and up one of the larger hills for some great views of the valley and the mountains.
The next day it was back to Yellowstone for a full day wandering around all possible roads in that park. There are a ton of beautiful meadows, rivers and lakes in that park, and some really interesing sulfuric pools, but the one place that unexpectedly ranked toward the top was the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. It sports some really interesting colors in the rock that are reminiscent of the southwest along with a beautiful blue river and waterfall. What I would say is that you can avoid is pretty much the entire north loop, although we did see a couple of black bear cubs roaming in the grass. Of course, we had to check out Old Faithful geyser, the iconic emblem of the park. It's obviously the most visited part of the park as evidenced by the two lodges, restaurant, and general store within a couple hundred yards of the geyser. They've even set up rows of benches so that the hundreds of people waiting for an eruption have someplace to sit. And believe me, when you get a load of some of the characters sitting around the geyser it's hard to believe that they made it on foot from the parking lot. Anyhow, the eruption itself was cool, but I wouldn't place it anywhere near the top of the list of the attractions of the park. People like predictability, I suppose.
Beware of Angry Crispy
The next day we drove to Missoula, where the plan was to visit a couple of breweries and then check out the Primus concert that was being held outside of Big Sky brewing. We hadn't bought any tickets, but Crispy was sure that we could get them at the door because "Who's going to see Primus in Montana? It's Montana!" Well apparently there are more than 3000 fans of Primus in the Missoula area because the show was sold out, which led to Angry Crispy making an appearance for about 15 minutes. Everything worked out ok though... we bought a six-pack and hung out in the parking lot for the entire concert where we could hear perfectly and see everything, only smaller. In the span of two days we saw a moose, bison, bears, and Wynona's big brown beaver. Also, here's an interesting fact about Missoula... it has a population of 75,000 and 5 breweries in town with another 5 in the surrounding area. Yeah. We liked Missoula.
Glacier National Park was the next destination, which was supposed to be the likeliest place for us to see some bears. The main road going through the park was closed about halfway up the mountain due to the fact that snow was still blocking the road, but again... lakes, waterfalls, and forests provided a fantastic backdrop. We drove around the park and up to one of the more remote areas with some unexpectedly rough dirt roads over to Bowman Lake while I profusely apologized to my car the entire way. It poured rain on and off all day so the driving conditions were tougher than normal. When we finally got to the lake, though, we had one of those sublime periods of complete stillness in nature, where there are no other people around and it's just you and an entire lake. That's until the dad and his two little kids came out from the parking lot to try and catch some fish for the evening. It had been a really long day and it was already 7 PM when we decided to head back toward some sort of civilized society where we could find lodging.
I'm going to take a minute now to tell you how much I love my Garmin GPS. That thing has been a rock-solid partner for me the entire trip and has led me out of some really weird jams. I do talk back to it sometimes, especially when it's telling me to make a u-turn where I can't make a u-turn. I should've never switched the voice to a UK-English female. I thought it'd be sexier, but instead it sounds more stern and matronly. It makes me feel like a disappointment when I miss an exit. Anyhow, the one problem with Garmin is that it knows almost too much. It has a database of all sorts of crazy roads that you would never take unless you had a detailed topographical map. So when you tell it that you want to head toward Whitefish, it tries to find the most direct route, which can involve strange forest roads with names like "NF-1629." So we're driving down one of these dirt roads and it's getting on in the evening and we're pulling out some maps and figuring out if Garmin is full of shit and we turn the corner and there's this huge four-legged monster running down the road and it tears off into the forest and Crispy and I flip out because WE JUST SAW A FUCKING GRIZZLY BEAR!!!! YAAAAAAH! That thing had to be at least 4 feet high at the shoulder on four legs and was hauling ass at about 15 miles an hour. Dude... I was so amped. There was no trace after it leaped into the trees so we continued up the road for another 10 miles or so until we found out... it was snowed in. I'm talking a wall of snow completely blocking the road going up the mountain through the pass. I can't really blame that on Garmin but dammit, now we had to turn around and drive all the way back to the park entrance about 40 miles away. So we're driving back down the dirt road, frustrated, looking at maps, getting hungry, and I turn the corner and THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING BLACK BEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH! It turns around and starts tearing down the road while Crispy and me are fumbling for the camera and then it's gone into the forest. Dammit! Bears! That one was smaller than the first but nevertheless a godless killing machine. And yes, it was exactly that awesome.
We spent the night in Whitefish, another small, friendly mountain town where I'd be happy to return, then headed back to Missoula which I'm sure is a surprise to no one. Hey, there were a couple of breweries that we didn't try the first time. Then came the turd-like part of the week: the drive through Idaho. I'm sure that there are nice parts to Idaho, maybe Sun Valley or someplace in the north, but if anyone ever asks you to drive across the south or west of Idaho, tell them you'll fly. The one notable destination across central Idaho is the Craters of the Moon National Monument, an expanse of volcanic rock and ash encompassing 75 square miles. I'll be honest, after what we saw the previous few days we were underwhelmed, but I think you'll agree after watching the following video that Craters of the Moon has at least one spectacular view:
http://youtu.be/gffKf4MdBvQ
So after an eventful night listening to the hypnotic sounds of meth heads outside the Motel 6 in Twin Falls, Crispy and I had to part ways, and I spent all day driving through more uninspiring territory in Idaho and eastern Oregon. Well, at least I have these pictures to look back on. Enjoy!
